You and Me in the Old Jeep - TROYLER AU

Chapter Thirty-Four

angry comments are hilarious they feed my dark soul keep em coming

Song of the Chapter: After Midnight by blink-182 (lyrics start 0.22 and I strongly recommend you listen to it as you read)

34

It had been three days since Troye had blocked my number. Three days since everything had fallen apart entirely. Three days since I had fucked up so badly that I wouldn't ever get back what I'd lost - not only had Troye completely cut me off, but Korey hadn't answered any of my texts or calls, so I guessed they were both done with me, as they were entitled to be. 

I hadn't been sober for a while.

I was currently camped out at Joey's house with his dog Wolf on my lap, burying my face in the husky's scruff with a glass of gin and tonic on the coffee table in front of me. My eyes were closed but I could feel Joey scrutinizing me,  sense the stinging pity in his gaze. 

"Tyler." His voice was soft, coaxing. "Why don't we go out? You need to take your mind off of...off of him."

Joey didn't say his name, but just the implication sent a shock of pain like an electric charge roaring through me. How did people survive heartbreak? Time had dulled the pain of losing my boyfriend when I was eighteen, but this was raw and bitterly fresh - a complete system failure, dagger to the chest. I bled on the inside, but it was never sore enough; I needed something bigger, something better, something to fill the emptiness that scrabbled at my ribcage and scrambled up my throat. The nothingness of Troye's departure was crushing me. I couldn't breathe anymore. I kept forcing oxygen in and carbon dioxide out, but it didn't mean anything. 

I used to chase drink, chase fun, chase boys to run away. Now I was going to do it again, but for an entirely different reason and as an entirely different person. 

We went to the same club we usually did and ordered the same drinks we usually did, but it wasn't the same because I wasn't the same, and I think we both knew that. Joey tried his hardest to get me into the swing of things, but it wasn't really working.

I was animated, though, when Jacob walked in.

Immediately I got to my feet, starting to make my way almost towards him without even thinking about it. I could hear Joey following me, his voice nervous and low as he asked me what I was doing, but he shut up when I tapped Jacob on the shoulder and then punched him in the face.

He reeled back with a yelp and the people around us drew away, suddenly wary. I waited for Jacob to turn back to me and then said, in the most level voice I could manage, that I wanted to see him outside. 

I was burning. I was going to set his insides on fire too if it was the last thing I did, because maybe if someone felt even a little bit of what I was feeling maybe I wouldn't be so alone.

He was drunk, far drunker than me; I could smell it on him. He was stumbling as we left the club and stood on the street but he waved off Joey and a few of his own friends as they tried to follow, hissing something incomprehensible at them before closing the door and facing me - he was still as hot as he had ever been, but I didn't want it anymore, and there was something cruel in his expression that I hated.

"Why?" was all I said, my arms crossed tightly over my chest. "Why the fuck did you have to screw us both over?" My hands were shaking but I didn't know whether I would hit Jacob again or not. I hadn't known what I was doing for three days straight. 

Jacob's face was set, hard, but the emotion in his eyes was unclear. "Tyler, you kissed me back." he reminded me. He sounded a little off and I took a wary step back, not wanting a repeat of the Sam incident. "This is just as much your fault as mine. You kissed back."

"And I regret that." I snapped, losing my temper. "We hurt Korey and Troye and I - look, this - we aren't ever going to be a thing. Don't get any ideas, I'm not going off into the sunset with you." 

"But Tyler -"

I really wanted to hit him. He was starting to blur in front of my eyes. "No, Jacob, I said -"

His hands were on my shoulder then and he was kissing me. Roughly, drunkenly, too hard and tasting of stale alcohol, our lips crushed together. I tried to pull away but he held me in place; I scrunched up my eyes and pressed my lips together tightly, panicking, feeling sick. I was about to knee him in the crotch when suddenly he was ripped away from me and sent crashing down onto the ground.

I leapt back and scrubbed at my mouth with my hand, almost gagging as I tried to get the taste of him off of me, and saw Dan of all people standing over Jacob shouting at him. 

" - is wrong with you, you creep?" he yelled, and I heard Phil sigh softly in my ear.

"You okay, Ty?" he asked and I was about to nod when, to my horror, I felt my eyes start to sting and my throat blocked up. Phil seemed to sense it and pulled Dan away from Jacob before snapping his fingers in front of my face to keep me focused on him, because it was becoming increasingly hard to keep my vision from blurring with tears.

"Tyler, who are you with?" Phil asked levelly, and when I choked out Joey's name he nodded. "Okay, we can text him later to tell him you're gone. Is it okay for us to take you back to our apartment?"

I nodded. As Dan called the taxi I tried to apologize but Phil just shook his head. "No, no, Tyler. We were done with dinner anyway."

a/n: phan's flirty date night at the shard amirite guys 

Dan and Phil brought me back to their apartment and extracted piece after piece of Troye and I's story throughout the night until I came to the end and could no longer speak; after that they just sat with me while I cried and cried  into my hands and into their shirts and into a mug of hot chocolate, scraped hollow and aching.

I hadn't shed a tear for three days but that night, I couldn't stop. 

ugh sorry guys i have writer's block ik this chapter isn't very good i'll try make the next one better 

thanks for reading though and please vote comment and add this to your reading lists if you enjoyed it (you could give me a cheeky follow as well)

Bbbbbbbbye *wink*