Station 19 one shots

Andy, not Andrea

A forced self revelation you could call it, how easy it is for everything to go from being so right to so wrong. I stare at myself, I am the first back, this place is all is all I have even my dad is tied to this place. Travis is in the hospital, Jack is waking up screaming, dad wont top asking questions, Ben is beating himself up, no one has seen Miller for a few days now, Vic has gone to stay with her parents and IDK whats going on with Maya. I don't blame them for being so abrupt to me how I can show a heart that I don't even know what it is. I've always known I'm no cisgender, i'm not trans either. I've always just known, when mum died I cut my own hair short while dad was o shift and was so mad when he got back. Genderqueer and non-binary speak out the most to me. Baby steps, baby steps. I've recently started binding, I've been using ace wrap till my binder arrives in post. No one notices the sharp contrast of the white bandages against my caramel skin. The crews back tomorrow, hear my sarcasm? Yeah. It's nice to see them don't get me wrong but I don't expect you to know. Gender insecurity I don't know what it is. It pains me to do this myself knowing what could happen, I stupidly wore ace bandages while doing a workout. My body gave out on me with quite a thud, "Andy!" They all yelled, Chief Ripley and a tall dark man we've never seen before came racing in behind them, "Andy for gods sake are you alright?!" Maya yelled once again a little loud for my taste, "Yes just a little dizzy," "Come down to the aid car get checked out," not necessary, "We will all feel better," Ben smiled taking my other arm.

"Your lung capacity is a little off for my liking," "Yeah just a tight sports bra as I said I'm," Maya had already lifted the back of my top for a better look, "Are those ace bandages?" It was none of there business. None whatsoever. I walked up to the beanery still dizzy but less than before, maybe I did do them a little to tight, "So Ands you okay?" Vic asked, Maya and Ben caught up to me, "Andy for gods sake take it off," "What are you talking about?" Chief Ripley ordered the same man next to him, "Nothing chief them lot being over protective I love them but they can be over bearing, "In that case 19 this is your new captain Robert Sullivan he will keep you on your toes, I will leave you in his capable hands." With that he left, "19-," he started but the bells rang. I pulled my t-shirt off to replace it with my FD shirt, they all saw it but I ignored them. Maya grabbed me after call after call pulling me into another room, "Andy we don't judge for crying out loud take them off," "Fine! Okay fine," "Why though why put yourself through this," "Because Maya everyone has assumed I'm cisgender," "Which is," "Gender is the same as you were born, i'm not a girl," "So your a dude?" "No genderqueer, or non-binary don't identify as anything pacifically. They/them that sort of thing hence Andy never Andrea, Andy can be short for Andrew," "Andy 19 are not going to judge you they will love you for who you are Andy Herrera," "Come on lets get those bandages off." Maya and Vic smiled grabbing the scissors with a menacing look in her eyes, "Vic give Maya the scissors I don't trust you," I joked. We stood in the side room letting them cut them off, "Thanks that feels better but wrong," I laughed, "Lung capacity is definitely better now. Andy wait for your proper binder and follow the instructions," "If theres a limit then no promises," they gave them yeah right looks it was not going to happen on there watch.

Third person

By great coincidence Andy came home and it was there waiting, like a child to a sweet jar they snatched it from the floor. Never in there life had they had been so happy they were accepted for who they were, it took a while for 19 to stop slipping up with pronouns but they had to prepare for that. Everyone but captain Sullivan were accommodating add a homophobe to the lot. Andy cut there hair to a more gender neutral style, shaggy curly hair to there collar bone that could still be put up for the sake of the work.

Andy's POV

Being out is a huge weight off my shoulders everyone has accepted me will apart from captain grouchy pants, he still uses my old pronouns but he's buddy buddy with chief Ripley so he won't get any real discipline! Any day now I feel like I'm going to snap no matter where we are. I can only hope he doesn't speak Spanish.

He speaks Spanish I am screwed a thousand times over then buried 100 feet underground, grouch called me into his office to my surprise he didn't yell only rather calmly asked, "Why do you all get so mad at me when I talk to you?" "You purposely misgender me you would get mad to," "I'm sorry I didn't know what are your correct pronouns and gender?" "Non-binary and them/them," "I will make note to improve I am sorry. Don't worry I appreciate the courage of being out, I'm not even out to my friends," he pulled out a pansexual pin badge, "I know a bar outside of town thats LGBTQ+, only no one will recognise you it'll be an opportunity to let loose," I wrote the address down, "Wear your pin and you won't get second guessed," "Thanks Andy."

I was meeting a couple of friends after work so I binded and slipped into a flannel, grey top, black jeans and docs I put my hair in a half half down style. If you didn't know me I look like a dude, added the non-binary pin though. We went to said bar and Robert was in the corner chatting up a storm with Max the bisexual that occasionally hangs out with us, I know it's a weird generalisation but I know six Max's and thats the easiest way to tell them apart. Did get a little drunk though nothing to bad though, we had fun though.

There is so much good in this world even if you have to fight to find it, I recommend you do as it's worth the reward.