Big Book of Xephna One Shots

A Subjectable Man (S)

TW: Death Mention, Yoglabs, Emotional/Psycological Abuse, Unhealthy relationships

I once knew a man, a scientist, a genius.

This man, I was lucky enough to call him a friend.

Though his thought process could sometimes be called chaotic and often careless, he never failed to deliver. With his light-hearted attitude people found it easy to like him, share a drink with him, crack a joke with him, and even share their problems with him. His smile always seemed unending. I wanted to do something for him. Offer him a gift for the endless laughs he had given.

So I let him in on my dream.

A lab.

A lab where both of us could limitlessly dive into our curiosity without any restraints. We worked for countless months towards this idea, he dreamt of it as much as I did. We poured everything we had into it, and we succeeded. We could finally do what we wanted: test, experiment, create, we could do it all. It was entirely ours.

With many months passing, experiments coming and going, I began to notice something about the scientist. The more time he spent in the labs and the less outside with friends, it became harder for him to shut his mind off. It would still buzz as he put himself to sleep, edging him into new ideas. Countless times I would wake to him shaking me, exclaiming he had the newest life changing invention. I would always humour him, following and listening to his explanations, half excited and half drained. Though I worried about the amount of materials he exhausted, I never wanted to hinder his creative mind.

You could say I pushed him to try harder, but with such potential how could I not? I could see that he had the ability to constantly solve the questions we had and never get tired even when endless nights took their toll. His mind was constantly working, it was quite beautiful really. At times I couldn't help myself as I watched him; his excitement for his work was contagious. He quickly became a backbone in the labs; it was the scientist and I, always working closely together. It was, thrilling, to be near someone like that, to share moments with. Share theories, past notes, time, meals, my bed...

Now that I look back, I wonder how I could have been so selfish, turning a blind eye to the alterations. I can't be entirely at fault, change is inevitable, it can't be all my fault... but the blame lies with me. My encouragements, my whispers in his ear to make him try even harder and constantly take a step further, I couldn't help myself. I wanted to see just how far he could go. My own curiosity practically turned him into my new experiment.

He began to change so slowly, such small increments, that I didn't notice. He began to stay up later and later, his mind never being able to rest. He made new machines to allow him to continue without stopping. He made it so he didn't have to eat, drink, or sleep. Though he didn't have to, I at times enticed him to do so. I was greedy.

Instead of addressing his half minded babbles, I brushed them off. Instead of making note of his nervous twitching, I labeled it as quirky. If an experiment failed, I would ignore him. I thought that it would pressure him to succeed more often. When he did have successes, I would reward him, but still tell him that he could do better. My curiosity craved to see what he could do to top his latest achievement. I wanted to know, and I made it so he did too. I baited him, like a frightened lab rat because I thirsted to fill my ledger with more notes on his reactions and achievements, and what I could do to pull more out of him.

I once knew a man of science.

A man of great potential and laughter.

I did not see a trace of the man in those halls on that day.