Big Book of Xephna One Shots

Goodbye Note #3 Lalna (S)

TW: Probs angst

"Dear Lalna,

Next time you see me, I wont be the same, I may or may not remember you, I hope to the stars I do, but its not my decision. Let's hope fate isn't as much of an ass as people say he is.

Anyways, Lalna, I want you to know something very, very important. I love you, honest to god I do, if I ever treat you wrongly, yell at you, or lash out at you, then I want you to smash me over the head with a chair. I mean it.

You deserve so much better than me, but you choose to stay with me all this time and I am forever grateful to be able to call you my friend, let alone my love.

I don't know what kind of person I will be when you get this note, but whoever I end up like I'm still me, trust me, I would want more than anything to remember you and hold you close, it would make a dark time like that so much brighter.

I've always been scared to admit affection to anyone, the word "love" used to leave a sour taste on my tongue every time I'd say it, I hated it. But being with you, and seeing how much you care for me made me realise, the reason I disliked saying the word "love" was because I was lacking the feeling of love. You gave me that small piece of humanity that no one else could. Thank you. Thank you so, so much Lalna.

You're probably worried sick about me, probably lost sleep over me, I know you Lalna, I know how much you care and it hurts, it angers me so, so much to know that I will be oblivious to it.

Don't get hurt by me Lalna, don't let me hurt you. Please, I beg you... I can't lose you, even if I lose myself, the very thought of losing you makes me want to scream.

Now, I'm gonna ask you a favour, its very, very important, the most important thing I will ever say to you.

Don't forget that I love you and that you are the most amazing person I've ever met, no matter what anyone says you are perfect just the way you are.

Signed,

Your personal night-light, Xephos."

Credit to thestarsarewatchingme on tumblr