All these years

Pain

This chapter mention self harm and sucide thought .
You can skip half of to get to the main part.
I warned you.
READ AT YOUR OWN RISK
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My mum has been admitted to the hospital,she stays in the private ward I don't know where my brother got the money for such an expensive hospital,but anyways it's non of my business.
I went to visit her in the morning and she was complaining how this place was boring,I laughed at her complaining.
On my way going back home I was lost in thought when I bumped into someone or like a brick.

I was about to apologize when the person hugged me ,I was taken back by the action.
I pushed the person and was about yell when I saw his face.

"I am so sorry ,I didn't know it was you"I said timidly.
"You changed ,the you I knew before would had slapped me " he said while laughing.
Then I heard someone cleared her throat beside him, she came up to home and hugged his side .

I looked at him to give me an explanation,he got the hint and gasped .
"Ashley this is angel ,angel this is Ashley" he said and put his hands in his pocket.

Ashley was looking at me weirdly then she stood on her toe and whispered in his ear more like talked because I heard what she said.
"Isn't she the one that has family issues and is toxic" she said glancing at me .
He thought I didn't hear her and nodded.

"Wow so that's was what you told her,you are such a pussy "I said and hit the vixen as I passed by.
Is that what I was know for family issues girl and I was not toxic .

I was think hard about what they I want to find a way to relive this pain ,this is all too much for me to bare.
I went to the supermarket and bought a pack of razor blades and two bottles of alcohol.

Immediately I reached home ,I thanked God nobody was around so I went straight to the bathroom and locked the door .

I sat on the floor and then the waterworks began I was to devastate to the point I wanted to kill myself.
I opened the alcohol and drank it in one go ,I opened the second one and sipped it .
I took the razor blade and without thinking I slashed my inner thighs,I felt no pain ,what I wanted to feel pain that was the main reason I bought this .
I took another blade and slashed my wrist ,blooded poured out like it was ready to be released I felt joy just watching my blood leaving my blood while I felt weak.
I collected and blade and slashed my other wrist ,this time around I felt the pain I shouted then I covered my mouth and laughed.

This was what I wanted to feel this pain ,pain makes me human ,at least I can live just to feel pain .
I laughed like a manic and used another blade to slash different part of my body except my face .
So if I die they would be able to do makeup on me and make me feel pretty.
Someone was banging on the door and shouting for me to come out .

I couldn't see ,my vision became foggy I was dieing slowly,is this how it felt ,for you to see your self slowly fading away.
This is what I wanted to just die ,and now I can I was rejoicing inside until they managed to break the door.

A loud scream was heard ,that must be my foolish sister ,they should just let me die .

I opened my eye and saw that I was in a field with different colors of flowers it was very beautiful.
I smiled for the first time in three years .
This is home ,so I am dead ,wait I am dead.
I have never been so happy before.
My happiness was cut short when I heard voices.
"She's stirring "that sounded like my sister.
"What did she do"my dad.
"She tired killing herself" my brother said.

Oh no I am alive,wait what,no no no no no no
I was dead I opened my eye I saw them all.
They where looking at me with tear in their eye .
I started shouting," why did you save,can't you see I wanted die,did I ask to be saved,I just want to die " I said while crying.
My sister was looking at me like I had grown three heads.

The doctor rushes inside and started doing their rubbish ,I fought them I wounded one of the nurse.
"Who asked you to save ,you guys call yourself doctors who save life ,do you know if they want to be saved" I said to the doctor and he looked at me with pity and continued what he was doing.
That alone set me off ,I didn't need pity.
I mustered all the strength I had and slapped the doctor.
"Don't ever look at me with pity again ,I am not pitiful" I spat in his face and laid back on the bed.

The doctor told the nurses to take over and left ,he was probably anger,but I don't  give a fuck.

I never asked them to save me,after they where done with their trash my family came in and tried talking to me ,I didn't even answer them.
When they saw that I would not talk they left me alone .
Exactly what I wanted ,just leave me alone .
"Why can't I just die in peace"? Angel muttered to no one in particular

Angel tried to kill herself but why can't she die 😌her ex boyfriend and his girlfriend are bitc ...sorry evil,they where the one that triggered this .😒
Stay tuned fam
Goal=30 votes and 20 comments if not I am not posting anything for real this time.
Xoxo😒