Pain Of Love (Y/N x Tom Kaulitz)

I will come back to you. (29)

(listen to the song linked for better experience!)

Y/N POV:

What? No, is this really happening?

"Tom, Tom please no."
I said in a whisper, trying not to cry and let everything out.

"I need to sort out some things, Y/N. I love you, I really do, but I don't deserve you right now. I don't want to make you feel like shit, I want you to be happy."
How can he say that? He wants me to be happy, but he's breaking up with me.

"Tom, I want to be with you. Please, please don't do this."
Tears fell onto my lap, I couldn't control it now.

"I love you, Y/N. But I need to do this, i'll come back to you when I sort everything out. You can be with whoever you want in that time, and if you don't want to be with me at the end of this all, i'll respect that. I really love you, Y/N."

"If you love me, why are you doing this?"
I stood up and raised my voice, trying to contain my tears so I could talk properly.

"Because, I still have feelings for Aaliyah."
As soon as he said that, my heart sunk. I couldn't handle this anymore, I stormed out of the house. I secretly hoped Tom would follow after me, try to stop me, but he didn't. He stayed put in that house, in that room, on that couch, not even walking me to my car like he always used to do.

I started up my car, still in hope he'll walk out and try to talk to me, but no. Nothing. That's all I meant to him, nothing.

🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

As soon as I got home, I rushed to Aleyna's room. I crashed onto her bed and couldn't stop the tears flowing now. She pulled me into a hug, concerned and confused.

"What's wrong, Y/N?"
She asked me instantly, I took a deep breath before speaking, trying to calm myself down.

"Tom broke up with me."

"WHAT?"
Aleyna yelled in shock, she looked at me with her jaw dropped.

"I'm so confused, what? Y/N, he loved you so much. Why would he do that?"
She asked me, I looked down guiltily. I hadn't really told her about how distant he's been in the past month, since I knew she'd make me confront him immediately, even if I wasn't prepared.

"For like, the past month, he's been so distant towards me. He'd rarely talk to me, whenever we went out together, I had to organise it. Plus, he never even seemed interested. I found out... he still has feelings for his ex."
As soon as I said that last sentence, she gasped.

"What's her name, we NEED to find this girl."
Aleyna asked, she always had crazy stalker skills, I didn't doubt she'd be able to find her.

"Her names Aaliyah, that's all I know."
I replied, she instantly got her laptop out. We searched many different social media's. Until I remembered something Tom mentioned once.

"Wait, one time Tom told me he had this old, embarrassing instagram account. He said he forgot the password, but maybe there's photos of her on it?"
I said, we searched on instagram his name. Lots of fan pages came up, but then...

"FINALLY!"
She shouted, I looked intriguingly at the page on her laptop. We went through all the posts, until we had finally found her in a photo with Tom. We checked the comments, her account was tagged. We were taken to her official page and we had finally found her.

"Shes so... pretty."
I said, upset. She really was beautiful. Brown hair, fading into blonde at the bottom, memorising green eyes, tan skin, curves, no wonder Tom likes her.

"Shut up, Y/N. I mean, look at her! You can tell she's gotten plastic surgery on her body. How did Tom even date this creature?"
I sort of chuckled at the creature comment, but I really do think she's beautiful.

"I seriously don't get it, how could Tom choose this thing over you?"
She said, confused and annoyed. She opened her phone and went to dial a number.

"Who's that?"
I asked,

"Bill. I need to find out what the hell is wrong with his brother."
She answered,

"Schatz? What's up?"

"What the hell is up with Tom?"
Aleyna frustratedly shouted,

"I was confused too! Aaliyah completely played him, Y/N is a sweet girl. I think it's just because of her looks. She's had a lot of plastic surgery and she wears a lot of revealing clothes. Maybe she did something to Tom, I don't know."
Oh. So it was because I wasn't as pretty as her, okay. Aleyna glanced over at me and then said something in german I couldn't understand.

"Bill! Y/N ist direkt neben mir, sie hat alles gehört. Das Mädchen ist sowieso hässlich, Y/N wird das nicht gut verkraften. Sie findet das Mädchen bereits so schön!"
I was oblivious to their conversation, but she seemed annoyed at Bill.

"Sorry, sorry! Look, I know he loves Y/N for a fact. But he wants her to be happy, he wants to be with Y/N when he's fully ready and not crushing on any other girls because he doesn't want to put Y/N through that."
Bill spoke, I don't believe that. I think it's just because he thinks she's prettier than me. I sigh and get up, Aleyna looked up at me worriedly.

"Goodnight, Ley."
I said before shutting the door. I went into my room, collapsing on my bed. I couldn't be bothered to get out of the clothes I was wearing. I couldn't believe today. It's really finished with me and Tom.

I sobbed and sobbed in my pillow. I miss him so much, I love him. Anything Aaliyah could do, I could do better. What does she have that's so special besides her looks?

Wasn't I good enough for him?

I slowly drifted off to sleep, thinking about the events of today, tears still slipped out here and then.

🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

The light shining through the curtain woke me up, but as soon as I opened them I wished I had glued them shut. I didn't want to wake up again, I didn't even know what to do with myself.

I knew this was a dumb idea, but I had to do it. I pulled out my phone and ..

Me: is it because she's prettier than me?
Tom: Huh?
Me: Aaliyah. It's because she's prettier, isn't it?
Tom: Y/N you know that's not why.
Me: Then why, Tom? I love you so much.
Tom: I love you too, but you deserve better than me right now
Me: Don't start with that bullshit! I thought you said you'll always be there
Tom: Y/N please, it's not like that
Me: I love you so much, why do you have to do this?
Tom: my beautiful girl, when i'm fully ready to love you without any other thoughts, i will come back to you.

thoughts —>