Pain Of Love (Y/N x Tom Kaulitz)

I can't do this with you... (31)

Tom POV:

Noon, 4:40pm

I laid tiredly in my bed, staring at the ceiling. I hated Aaliyah, I hated her so much for what she did. So then why do I still find myself attracted to her? Why do I still think about how gorgeous she is? No one could compare to Y/N, but she doesn't deserve this. Being with her right now would just make me feel guilty, I need to completely move on from Aaliyah before i'm ready for Y/N again.

"Tom, what the fuck are you doing?"
Bill stormed into my room, I look at him confusedly.

"Why the fuck did you break up with Y/N for Aaliyah, are you on something?"
He yelled frustratedly, I think about that sentence again. I broke up with Y/N for Aaliyah, but it's deeper than that.

"It's not like that Bill! You don't understand!"
I argue back.

"Yeah, you're right. I don't understand. That poor girl has been through enough, she really did love you. And you just left her, like that? I knew you'd just play around her, just like every other girl you fucking meet!"
Bill stepped forward, angrily. His words made my temper rise.

"I didn't fucking play her, I still love her!"
I shouted back, slowly losing energy. I haven't even been able to get out of bed today, I just feel so helpless.

"You didn't play her?"
He says, laughing sarcastically before he continues again.
"Tom, let me explain this to you. You met her at the grocery store, gave her your number. You liked her. You hung out with her at this place, she left and got into that car accident. You went mental without being able to see her. She stopped talking to you for a while. You started talking again. She was forced into dating her ex again, you were depressed as shit. They broke up, you and her got together. And all of a sudden, you see Aaliyah and dropped everything for her?!"
I groaned as I listened to his long rant, I couldn't be fucked dealing with this. He told it as if it was just a little story.

"Bill, I love Y/N. I love her so fucking much. But I don't want to be with her if I haven't moved on from my ex yet. She doesn't fucking deserve that!"
I angrily stood up and grabbed my car keys out of my drawer, he opens his mouth to speak again but I race down the stairs. Leaving the house, shutting the door hard behind me.

I got into my car and sat in loneliness. I just couldn't deal with the fact that I wasn't good enough for Y/N. That's when it clicked, that's what's happening. I'm not good enough for her.

I start up my car, still angry and fuming from Bill's hurtful words and began driving. Even though I really shouldn't since of my lack of sleep. I barely slept last night, so many things running through my mind.

Sleeping pills crossed my mind. I haven't been able to sleep peacefully, that's what I need. I shifted lanes on the road, heading to a huge mall not very far from here. It had everything, from clothing, to restaurants, to chemists.

🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

I parked in the huge car park, turning my vehicle off. I shut the door behind me and began walking to the doors. I entered, shit this place is huge.

I wandered around for a bit, searching for the chemist. I had finally spotted it and entered right away, I didn't want to be here in this loud shopping centre, surrounded by people. I want to go home and sleep my life away, I was so confused with myself.

"Yeah, is there anything that could help me with sleeping? I've been stressed, making it really hard to go to sleep for me."
I explained to the lady at the front, she walked over to the back and handed me a small bottle of pills.

"Take two of these a night when you're struggling to sleep, any more than given amount can be very dangerous so just be careful. $29.99, please."
She explained, I pulled out my card and scanned it. She happily handed me the receipt and I left as soon as I could. I just want to go home.