Pain Of Love (Y/N x Tom Kaulitz)

3am. (32)

Y/N POV:

"Tom.. I don't know, okay? Don't call me again."
I sternly said before hanging up, I really couldn't believe it. I really wondered if all he said was bullshit or if he was telling the truth. I was feeling too many emotions at once.

"Let's just go home."
I said softly to Aleyna, a small voice crack. She nodded and began driving back to our shared place. The event just replayed over and over in my mind. The way they kissed, I couldn't get the picture out of my head.

"So.. what are you going to do?"
Aleyna asked curiously, glancing at me before looking back to the road. I sighed and looked down to my lap.

"I..I don't know. I need to think, I need a lot of time to think."
I replied back, I just needed a break from all this.

"Why do my relationships always go wrong? Like, is there something wrong with me?"
I ranted frustratedly to her, she chuckled.

"No, you just somehow always meet the wrong guys."
She replied, a small laugh escaped my lips. But it quickly turned back into a sorrow look on my face, I really thought we were going somewhere. Until we saw those people at the festival, then his stupid feelings for his ex.

We had finally pulled up in the driveway, I unlocked the door quickly going up to my room.

"Tell me if you need anything, i'm here for you."
Aleyna gave me a hug before going off to her room. I smiled at her before entering my own room, quickly taking off my clothes and throwing on some comfy pyjamas. I laid in my bed and just stared at the ceiling. What was I supposed to do now?

All our cute memories replayed in my head, like a never ending cycle. I just wanted it all to end, I wish I never met him. A part of me wanted him to call again, a part of me wanted to hear his voice telling me everything's going to be okay and i'll believe him. But another part of me is telling me this is a terrible idea and I should never talk to him again entirely.

I kept glancing at my phone, trying to see if he'd call or text or do anything, but nothing. I miss the smile that grew on my face as we talked over the phone, fuck this!

I threw my phone across the room in anger, immediately regretting it but I didn't have the energy to go get it. I was so mad and upset and confused and every emotion under the sun! I laid on my side, closing my eyes. Hoping that I would have to wake up again to deal with all of this.

3am

What the fuck is that sound? I open my eyes to my pitch black room, seeing a small light in the corner of my room. I got out of bed tiredly, to investigate what it was.

My phone, it was Tom. Tom was calling me at 3 in the morning, what the hell?

"Tom.. what do you want?"
I groaned stretching my arms, as well as a yawn.

"Come.. uh.. open the what's it called, door thinngg, please.."
He spoke oddly, slurring his words slightly and not making any sense.

"Open the door? Tom, are you seriously outside right now?"
I asked, now tons of questions were racing through my head.

"Yeaaa, I wanna talk to yoouuu.."
It then clicked what was happened. He was drunk, I could tell by the way he spoke now. I rolled my eyes and raced downstairs, trying not to make too much noise. But then again, Aleyna is a heavy sleeper.

I open the door to see a very weak looking Tom, huge eye bags popped off his face.

"Tom, why are you here, you... you can't be here right now."
I nervously said, this was so much more scarier in real life than over the phone.

I looked up at him and he just stared blankly at me, before tears began to roll down his face.

"Don't... don't do that. You're not the one that should be crying in this situation!"
I sternly said to him, but the look on his face just softened me up. Maybe he really wasn't lying, but it doesn't change the fact that he still had a full blown conversation with her.

He suddenly pulled me into a hug, his hands wrapped around my waist, I just stood there like a deer in headlights. I didn't know how to react or what to do as I felt him cry on my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry.. I'm so so sorry... you deserve someone better than me..."
He sobbed onto my shoulder, I didn't know what to do. If I comforted him, i'd lose a bit of self respect, after what he did to me. But, i've really never seen him like this in front of me.

"I love you, I love you so muuuuuuchh..."
He whispered in my ear, I could smell the alcohol off him. I knew it was only the drinks talking.

"If you loved me, why did you do that to me? Why did you leave me?"
I asked, trying to hold myself back from everything I wanted to say.

"I wasn't thinking, i'm so sorry.."
It seemed like those were the only words he knew how to say. 'Sorry'.

"Will sorry fix the image of you two making out in the alley? Will sorry fix the fact you left me for that other girl? Will sorry fix the fact that I seriously thought we could work?"
I ranted, he stayed quiet. I knew I got him there.

"Leave, Tom. You shouldn't be here."
I said, standing my ground. It broke me to do this, I didn't really want him to leave. But I don't want him to think he can do this to someone and get away with it that easily. I watched as he got into his car and drove off. I wanted to call him, I wanted to make sure he got home safe. But i'm not supposed to be doing this. He's not my responsibility and he needs to understand his actions have consequences. His actions have hurt me and he seems to think a 'sorry' will fix it all.

I walked back up the stairs, getting back to my bed. I sighed, stuck in my thoughts again. I don't understand, why do I still care about him after all of that? Why do I still want him after he was such an asshole to me?

10am

"Y/N, Y/N wake up!"
I heard a nagging voice in my ear. I opened my eyes, to see a very worried looking Aleyna right next to me.

"Ugh, what is it?"
I rubbed my eyes, sitting up to look at her with a clearly annoyed face, wanting to go back to sleep.

"Look okay, before I tell you this, please don't panic."
Those words scared me, every time she said that it made me anxious already.

"Why, what happened?"
I asked, immediately Tom came to my mind. Memories from last night came flooding back to my head.

"Tom went missing."

thoughts —>