Pain Of Love (Y/N x Tom Kaulitz)

Distraction. (30)

Y/N POV

I looked at the message with tears welling in my eyes. Why does it hurt so bad? How did I fall for someone so hard in only a couple of months? I knew this would happen, I knew it. I knew being with him was a bad idea from the start, but I was too blinded from love I couldn't even see it.

Now look at me, i'm stuck in my bed. Upset, lonely and honestly a bit angry. It's been years, how could he still like her? Suddenly, a loud knock appeared at my door and was opened regardless of what I said. I quickly wiped away my tears and looked up at her.

"Y/N.. you can't stay in bed and be like this all day."
She said, concerned for me. She didn't know about the messages, but I had it open on my phone. I've just been reading it all, over and over again. She looked over at it and raised an eyebrow, she grabbed my phone.

"Y/N... you don't need him."
She said as she read the messages, I sniffled and looked back at her.

"Aleyna, you don't understand."
I spoke, I missed him so bad, so fucking bad.

"Y/N, I do. I've been through this before, except my one never came back for me. You don't know what's gonna happen. He could come back for you, he could not. But you can't just sit like this all day."
I really wanted to. I did want to sit like this and sulk in my bed all day. I don't want to do anything, I don't have the energy to do anything. I stayed silent and laid back on my bed, staring at the wall.

"Come on, let's go somewhere!"
She suggested, I stayed silent. I didn't want to do anything.

"Y/N, please. It's hurts me too to see you in this state."
She whined, I turned over to look back at her.

"Where do you even want to go anyway?"
I asked, trying to gain the motivation to go out with her somewhere.

"Literally anywhere. Why don't we go shopping?"
She said excitedly, I barely had any money anyway.

"What am I even going to do there? I don't have money."
I complained, finding any excuse to not go.

"Y/N, you forget a lot I have a rich boyfriend. Don't worry about money, come on!"
She said, pulling me up by my arm. I looked over at the clock hanging on the wall, 12pm. For other people, this would be early noon. For me, it's still morning.

"Fine, go change."
I said, admitting defeat. She runs back off into her room and I search my closet for something to wear. I still had the same jumper on from yesterday, I took it off and chucked it on my desk chair.

I decided to go with a fitted, white jacket with a white shirt underneath and some flared jeans. I picked out my white airforces to wear as shoes and tried to make myself look a bit more appealing. A bit of concealer to brighten underneath my eyes and some mascara seemed to do the trick. I finished up and grabbed an ordinary black bag. Waiting downstairs on the couch for Aleyna.

I took a deep breath in and tried to forget about Tom so I could have a good day, but he was all I could think of. I didn't like the fact Tom had control of my emotions, despite the fact we aren't even together anymore.

I heard footsteps come down the stairs, Aleyna overdressed of course. A pink, cropped top with flowery sleeves and a flowing pink skirt. As well as a white bag and white airforces, same as me. I checked my phone for the time, 1pm. I tiredly got up the couch as she opened the front door. Walking over to the passenger seat of her car.

"Just try focus on having fun, okay? Don't think about Tom."
How could she even say that? How can I not think about him?

"I'll try, I guess."
I say, tiredly. My head ached from all the crying last night and this morning, I wanted to crawl back in bed.

🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

We got out the car and walked into the huge shopping centre. I exhaustedly followed her into each store she went into.

"Y/N, this would look so cute on you!"
Aleyna says, I look over at the t-shirt. It looked like something Tom would wear, a baggy shirt and a cool design in the middle. It made me even more upset, having to be reminded of him by these little things.

"No thanks."
I said, turning my head away from it. I didn't wanna be reminded of him again. I just wanted it all to get out of my head.

She picks out a few different items of clothing. Specifically dresses, I noticed her and Bill have been seeing each other more often. Maybe that's why, plus, it's black. His favourite colour.

She paid for it all and we walk out the store, which is when I spot a hat store. They looked exactly like the ones Tom wears. Fuck! He needs to get out of my head, everything fucking reminds me of him! I hate it.

"When are we going home?"
I ask Aleyna, we hadn't been here for long but I didn't wanna even go anywhere in the first place.

"What do you mean, we just got here?"
She asked confused, continuing to walk into another store. I rolled my eyes and followed her as she scanned over new makeup.

"Do you want anything?"
She questioned me, I picked out a new concealers since mine was almost finished and she pays for it, plus all the makeup she picked out.

"$140? That's so expensive."
I mutter to Aleyna as she uses her phone to pay, she shrugs.

"Relax, you forget how many crazy fans Tokio Hotel has."
She mentioned with a chuckle, Tom's band. Ugh.

"Oh yeah, sorry."
She says right after noticing the reaction I had to hearing about their band again.

"My feet hurt, can we please leave now?"
I whine to Aleyna, it's 5pm now. We did a lot of different things. We ate in a restaurant, bought food, debated on buying new iphones, went to the small arcade for a little bit. It was actually kinda fun and got my mind off things today. I'm so grateful for her. I really did need the distraction.

"Okay same, let's go."
She said back, we began walking in the other direction of the shopping centre until we reached the car park.

"I-I can't."
"Why not? You know you can't resist me..."
"I love someone else, I can't just .. betray her."
"It's just a kiss, it doesn't matter."
"I- mmhph!"
I hear familiar voices in the alleyway right next to the car park. I look at Aleyna curiously and peek in, no. No... no... my eyes are tricking me right?

"Tom..."
My voice cracked, he immediately stopped making out with the girl and he looked at me in shock.

"Wait- No Y/N!"

thoughts ->