Unlikely Mistake ✔

Mistake.37 - Wake up

AN: I'm sorry! I was just kidding about the Tragic Ending! I can't believe that you really took me seriously! HAHAHA.

》CHEYNE《

I woke up feeling a little bit cold. I tried to rolled over to my side seeking for his warmth, his warmth that always make me feel safe and at ease, his warm body which I love. But I only felt the coldness of the sheet, my eyes instantly flew open and saw nothing but the empty space beside me. Reminding me that I've been sleeping or should I say been trying to sleep in this same bed ever since that day.

Nariin kong pinikit ang nga mata at malalim na huminga. This bed felt so much colder and big without him, and its making me feel lonely once again. And I hate it.

I've never experience sleepless night before. Pero simula ng araw na malaman kong nasa coma sya, hindi ko na magawang makatulog na maayos. Minsan nga pinapagod ko nalang ang sarili ko para wala na akong isipin at makatulog ako dahil sa pagod. Or sometimes I would just cry myself to sleep.

Alam kong hindi yun makakabuti sa akin... sa amin ng anak ko. Pero wala naman akong magawa para doon. I can't help myself but worry about him. Kaya naman lagi akong nakiki-usap sa anak namin.

I always asked him to please stay strong for me and his Dad. I asked him to bare with me and not to leave me - us.  Also, that i'm sorry for being a bad mother. And that I love him so much, his Dad as well.

Just thinking about Lorenzo lying in that hospital bed, unconscious and in coma makes me want to cry. May heart felt heavy, i feel hopless and worthless dahil wala akong magawa para sa kanya. If I can, I want to beat the hell out of him for making me feel like this. For not telling me about his conditions. For keeping it from me!

Kung sinabi nya lang ng mas maaga,edi sana hindi na umabot sa ganito. Sana mas maaga syang na'operahan. Sana naihanda ko ang sarili ko sa ganitong posibilidad. Maybe it would be less painful than this.

Pero ang hinihiling ko talaga... ang ipinagdarasal ko sa Panginoon ay ang muling pag-mulat ng mata nya, ang pag-gising nya. Ang makasigurong okay na talaga sya. Ang muli syang makasama.

Pinipigilan ko ang sarili kong umiyak... na naman. I curled up, I grabbed onto tummy to hugged myself... to hugged my baby. I want to assure myself that I wasn't alone, that he's always here with me. He's my source of strength... he's the reason why i haven't given up yet. Kahit sobrang lungkot at sakit para sa akin na nasa ganung kalagayan ang tatay nya. Because I still plan to give him the happy family he deserve. A complete happy family every child deserve to have.

It's been exactly three weeks since that day... Since my nightmare begin. Pero pakiramdam ko kahapon lang nangyari ang lahat.

He's in coma

I feel like my strength just left me nang ma-absorb na ng utak ko ang kalagayan ni Enzo. I almost lost my balance, buti nalang talaga nasalo ako ni Gray at inalalayan, hindi ko man lang namalayang nasa likod ko lang pala sya.

Hindi ko na nga alam kung paano ako nakarating sa kwartong pinag-dalhan kay Lorenzo matapos ang operasyon nya dahil tulala lang ako. Lutang ang utak, hindi makapaniwala sa nang-yari. Napaka-bilis kasi ng mga pang-yayari. Parang kagabi lang may tampuhan kami, may hindi napag-kasunduan pero naayos rin naman namin yun kinabukasan. Nagka-intindihan na kami, masaya na ulit kami...

Pero bakit biglang ganito?

Hindi ko na naman napigilan ang sarili kong umiyak. Kusang kumawa ang mga luha sa mata ko. Tahimik lang akong umiiyak habang nakatingin sa walang malay na Lorenzo.