whats happening?

chapter 12

I sat in my cell. Thor had visited me sometimes but he's gone to Norway to make a new Asgard for the remaining Asgardians.

I heard a laugh. It echoed around me but also didn't sound like it was coming from anywhere "This is sad"

I looked at the glass and saw myself smirking back at me "Your back to the way you where, not the boring you I've had to deal with for years but yet your just in a cell and doing whatever they tell you" "I'm planning something" "you do know I'm in your head? That I am you?"

"Then you'll know how great my plan is. I assure you you'll get your revenge" the guy talking to me was no other then me, well this version of me, this more ambitious version of me if I may. We have worked in Kahoots for awhile but I'm guessing younger me just ignored them.

All I want is to be with my brother and quite frankly I don't care about anyone else... at least I think I don't "Stop doubting yourself, norns you think too much" I shrugged "Your a great representation of that"

They rolled their eyes before the doors open and a certain billionaire walked in "I see your feeling better" I said with sass coming out in every word.

"How are things down here?" I shrugged "could be worse" I looked at my reflection who raised their eyebrows. I shook my head subtly but Stark seemed to notice.

He started walking towards me and I stood up "What's going on inside your head?" "Nothing much" "I find that hard to believe" I grinned "Do you now?" "Your mind itself is chaos reincarnated"

I nodded shrugging. "Anyway I got you something before I leave. He handed me a brown bag. I looked in it and there was a sandwich and a weird roll thing. I believe it's called a croissant?

I gave him a confused look "doctors orders" "Stark you know I can go for months without eating" "Yeah and you've hardly eaten anything in 7 years" 7 years? It's really been that long since New York? It just feels weird to look at it that way.

"So eat" He started leaving before commenting "your suit is filthy by the way" he continued leaving "kill him" I ignored them "KILL HIM!" He left "your getting weak" "I told you I have a plan" "Right sure" "You know on midguard I'd be called crazy and probably put in a psych ward just for the way I act nevermind the fact I'm talking to myself" "We are crazy darling" I rolled my eyes

3 days later

Finally time to get released from this shit hole. I really, really hoped I maybe even earned part of their trust. Steve Rogers came down and let me out with a always suspicious looking Natasha Romanoff behind him.

He unlocked the door and I got out. Rogers looked like he had just been crying.

"So now what?" Now you stay here with us until Thor is done with New Asgard" "And why can't I help him?" "He wants you to take time off from all the drama in your life and take it easy" I nodded "ok right sure"

They walked out of the room and I took a deep breath "Loki they don't care about you, remember what Thanos said 'Your a villain' so act like one!" I nodded and followed behind them.

Natasha had stopped and pulled me into one of the rooms. I'd never been in this room before "Loki are you ok?" "Yes of course why wouldn't I be?" "I was watching you on the security cameras and you appeared to be talking to yourself" "Stalker" "Loki!"

I shrugged "I was just board that's all don't you ever talk to yourself when your bored?" She nodded "Tum ibi te tunc" (well there you go then(Latin))

A year later

(I know this is big time jumps but trust me nothing interesting happens between them)

I went to New Asgard but now I'm back at Avengers headquarters as Thor thinks I should stay a bit longer. No idea why of course but I am here so yeah.

It was just me Steve and Natasha and we had gone on a few missions together but today was the day. I'm going to fucking kill them.

I can't grow close, I can't form connection because that isn't in the cards for me but I'm really good at being the villain.

It was night time. Steve was asleep and Natasha was tracking Clint's whereabouts. I decided to kill her first.

She is more likely to beat me if we're being real here. I picked up a steak knife from the kitchen and walked towards the room she was in.

I had gone hollow, I was emotionless, I was nothing but a figure going to do the devils dirty work for them.

I brought my knife up when I was behind her but she turned around and grabbed my arm. I finally snapped out of whatever happened and I dropped the knife "Loki" I started crying and I brought one hand up to my head.

"What's wrong?" "T-their voice i-its overpowering" I was ashamed of the fact I was stuttering "Who's voice?" "Mine! They want me to kill you" "do you want to kill me?" "I don't know, I don't know what I want anymore, I can't distinguish my thoughts from theirs" she rubbed her free hand through my hair and then took my hand off my head.

Rogers came in. Oh for fuck sake, here I am crying like a baby of something not that bad while Romanoff comforts me like a mother would.

"What's wrong?" "Im not sure but I think they need help" I was to tired to answer, too distracted by their voice in my head, they where disappointed with how I acted.

Like I said I was them and I'm not a hero but I couldn't do it, I couldn't kill Natasha. I got to close to her and I regret it.

"We'll try find Dr Banner he can help" I put my hand on my stomach instinctively.