'Til We Meet Again - Crowley x Reader

Chapter 54

Hell

The world blurred before me as I was unceremoniously dragged into a dark, gloomy dungeon in the very bowels of Hell. I crashed to the floor, my knees scraping against the cold, unforgiving stone. In the centre of this hellish chamber, Beelzebub, one of Hell's highest-ranking demons, was perched upon a grotesque, barbed throne that seemed more like a cruel joke than a seat of power.

The room was filled with a sense of foreboding, the very air heavy with malice. In front of Beelzebub, there was an empty bathtub, of all things, its white porcelain contrasting horribly with the room's sinister atmosphere. Beyond it was a plexiglass screen, behind which thronged thousands of demons, their eyes gleaming with sinister anticipation.

"Hey guys, nice place you got here," I offered a casual greeting, though I knew that such pleasantries had no place here.

Beelzebub's baleful gaze bored into mine. "Silence!" they snapped, their voice dripping with venom.

Before I could ponder the specifics of my situation further, Beelzebub declared the commencement of my trial, asserting their position as the judge. I had no doubt that this would be anything but a fair proceeding, given the calibre of demons present. Hastur, the demon known for his zeal in punishing sinners, chimed in, proclaiming himself the prosecutor.

I couldn't help but turn to Dagon, hoping that perhaps he would be on my side in some capacity. "So Dagon here is defending me?" I asked, my voice a touch of hope edging through.

Dagon chuckled, shaking his head as he corrected me, "Oh, I'm afraid not. No, I'm just here in case there is something you've done that they forgot."

Beelzebub leaned forward on their abhorrent throne, smirking as they addressed me with a chilling tone. "But we built this place for you specially. It shall be your place of trial... and it shall be your place of destruction.."

I couldn't resist a sarcastic comment, even in the face of my impending doom. "Guys, you shouldn't have gone to all that trouble," I quipped, not entirely suppressing the unease that gnawed at the back of my mind.

Beelzebub began by reading out the list of my crimes, each word echoing through the chamber. "Crowley," they intoned, "you are charged with high treason, consorting with Heaven, and multiple counts of failure to corrupt a human soul."

Hastur chimed in, adding a sinister note to the proceedings. "And the murderer of a fellow demon, a crime I saw with my own eyes." he accused, casting a dark look in my direction.

Beelzebub turned to the assembly, raising a hand. "Creatures of Hell," they proclaimed, "you have heard the evidence against the demon known as Crowley. What is your verdict?"

A chorus of demonic voices rose in unison, declaring, "Guilty!"

I couldn't help but maintain my usual nonchalant demeanour, even in the face of these grave accusations. "What's it to be? An eternity in the deepest pit?" I asked, looking more curious than worried.

Hastur couldn't resist a wicked grin as he replied, "No, we're going to do something even worse. Letting the punishment fit the crime."

At that moment, a surprising guest arrived, one I had not expected to see in the fiery depths of Hell. The archangel Michael made his entrance, carrying a jug filled with Holy Water. I raised an incredulous eyebrow at his presence, unable to hide my surprise.

My curiosity deepened. "The Archangel Michael?"

Beelzebub, in their usual air of smug superiority, explained, "We've decided to work with our enemies for your punishment."

Hastur called to the Angel. "Well, wank-wings, you brought the stuff?"

My gaze jumped to the jug Michael carried in his hands. I felt a shiver of dread as the situation became clearer. "That's Holy Water," I protested, realising that I was in for something excruciatingly unpleasant.

Michael poured the Holy Water into a bathtub, confirming, "Indeed, it's the Holiest of Holy Waters."

Beelzebub, as if uninterested in my pleas, turned to Hastur. "Hastur, test it." they ordered with a sinister grin.

With a cruel grin of his own, Hastur seized a smaller demon and hurled him into the bathtub, callously stating, "Wrong place, wrong time."

The poor demon's anguished scream filled the chamber as the Holy Water boiled and seared his essence. In moments, he melted into nothing, leaving behind nothing more than a chilling reminder of the torment that awaited me.

Michael, having finished his business, made his exit. Beelzebub's cold, unrelenting gaze remained focused on me. They declared my sentence: extinction by Holy water. A chill ran down my spine.

Beelzebub inquired, "Have you anything to say?"

I scratched my head, trying to appear casual in the face of certain doom. "Well, yes. Um... This is a new jacket, and I'd hate to ruin it." I paused, locking eyes with Beelzebub, who raised an eyebrow in bemusement.

"Do you mind if I take it off?" I asked innocently.

Beelzebub, intrigued by my odd request, consented. I wasted no time and began to strip down to my singlet and boxers.

Without a moment's hesitation, I took a step into the tub, the Holy water rippling around me. I was unharmed, much to the shock and horror of the surrounding demons. I couldn't help but revel in the absurdity of the situation as I lowered myself into the water, completely unfazed by its supposed divine properties.

I playfully splashed water around, watching the demons recoil in fear, their eyes wide with disbelief.

I turned to Beelzebub, mischief dancing in my eyes, and asked, "I don't suppose that anywhere in the nine circles of Hell there's such a thing as a rubber duck? No?"

The room filled with shocked murmurs from the demons. Beelzebub looked at me as if I'd lost my mind. "He's gone native. He isn't one of us anymore." they commented, unable to hide their disbelief.

The demons couldn't contain their astonishment at this revelation, and I took the opportunity to remind them, "So, you're probably thinking, 'If he can do this, I wonder what else he can do?'"

An air of intimidation now hung in the room as I continued, "And very, very soon, you're all going to get the chance to find out."

Hastur, never one to back down, piped up, "He's bluffing. We can take him."

Beelzebub, always the level-headed one, disagreed. "Get him out of here, this'll cause a riot."

The demons quickly drew a curtain over the plexiglass screen, obscuring their view of my actions.

Just then, the door creaked open, revealing Michael's entrance. He began with the statement, "I came to bring back the..." but his words trailed off as he realised that I wasn't dead. It was then that I decided to have a bit of fun.

"Michael! Dude!" I greeted him with exaggerated enthusiasm, causing the demon's eyes to widen. "Do us a quick miracle, will you? I need a bath towel."

Michael, not entirely sure how to react, materialised a towel and handed it to me. I took it with a grin. I then turned to Beelzebub and made my point clear, "I think it would be better for everyone if I were to be left alone in the future. Don't you?"

I couldn't resist giving the group of demons an evil grin as Michael looked on, surely bewildered by the absurdity of it all.