Incorrect Quotes with Dazai, Y/N and Chuuya. Let the chaos ensue!!
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Y/N: What’s it like being tall?
Y/N: Is it nice?
Y/N: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?
Dazai: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.
Chuuya: It was one time!
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Dazai, bursting into the room: You two are having sex!
Y/N, not looking up from their book: Really? Chuuya, why didn’t you tell me? I would have put my book down.
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Y/N: Why do you let me win when we race up the stairs? You’re the faster one.
Chuuya: Erm... it’s nice see your smile when you win!
*later*
Y/N: They're probably just staring at my ass, aren't they.
Dazai: Yeah, probably.
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*Thump noise*
Dazai, from the other room: What happened?!
Y/N: Chuuya’s shirt fell.
Dazai: Why was it loud?
Y/N: It had them inside.
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Y/N: Without ugly, there would be no beauty in this world.
Chuuya: Thank you for your sacrifice, Dazai.
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Dazai: Who do we know that has handcuffs?
Chuuya: Well Y/N and I-
Y/N: *elbows Chuuya*
Chuuya: ...wouldn't know.
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Y/N, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?
Chuuya: Yeah, sure.
*A few minutes later*
Chuuya: Here you go.
Y/N:
Chuuya:
Dazai: Why am I here?
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Dazai: Hey, what’s up?
Y/N: The sky.
Dazai: No, I meant like, what are you doing?
Y/N: Oh, Chuuya.
Chuuya: *highfives Y/N* Nice!
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Chuuya: Sorry I’m late, I was doing things.
Y/N: Hi, I’m ‘things’.
*Mori and the rest of the port mafia*
👁️👄👁️
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Chuuya: Go fuck yourself.
Y/N, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch
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Dazai: I committed all 7 deadly sins in 30 minutes.
Chuuya: Wow, I've gotta hear this.
Dazai: I was angry and envious of my neighbor so I lazily seduced his wife and ate all his groceries and didn't share.
Chuuya: You forgot pride.
Dazai: No, I'm pretty proud of this.
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Chuuya: look Dazai, I'm not slut shaming you but...
Chuuya: Actually yeah, I'm TOTALLY slut shaming you.
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Chuuya: You’re an idiot.
Dazai: That’s the charm.
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Chuuya: But that place is haunted.
Dazai: Ghosts prey on fear. Just be confident!
Chuuya, marching into the haunted house I AM NOT SCARED! I AM NOT A PUSSY!
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Dazai: Hostage or not, sometimes it’s nice being held.
Y/N: Are you okay.
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Dazai: Hey Y/N, have you seen the photographer?
Y/N: Nope. Have you seen the meat tenderizer?
Dazai, confused: What?
Y/N, grabbing the meat tenderizer out of the drawer: No reason, cute girl things!
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Y/N: Wow, great work on the Halloween decorations. Where did you get the fake skeletons?
Dazai: Fake?
(I dunno why but I can see Dazai doing this 😂)
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Y/N, turning to Dazai: Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you can turn on is the microwave.
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Dazai: *shoves their hand in the slot of a toaster*
Y/N: …
Dazai: …I get confused sometimes.
Y/N: Me too.
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Dazai: I never tell people off the bat that I'm gay. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm gay right?" and watch the look of terror on their face.
Y/N:
Y/N: I like you.
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Y/N, singing: He's making a list, checking it twice, gonna find out who's on thin fucking ice <br>Dazai, also singing: Santa Claus is calling you out!
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Dazai: honk.
Y/N: WHAT.
Dazai: HONK.
Y/N: WHAT DOES HONK MEAN THIS TIME YOU WHIMSICAL PIECE OF SHIT?????
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Chuuya: It’s Pride Month, you know what that means!
Dazai: I get to eat as many Skittles as I want?
Chuuya: What? No! What has Y/N been telling you?
Y/N, walking in, pouring Skittles into their mouth: Taste the rainbow, bitch.
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Y/N: In your opinion, what is the height of stupidity?
Dazai, turning to Chuuya: How tall are you?
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Y/N: Dazai, we need that!
Dazai, holding Chuuya over a trash can: Nope.
Y/N: Gimme it—
Dazai: It’s garbage.
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Chuuya: The clock is ticking! We don't have time for this asinine tomfoolery!
Dazai: This unmitigated poppycock?
Y/N: Extravagant hogwash!
Chuuya: Okay, stop.
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Y/N: Why does everyone want to kill Dazai?
Chuuya: Because, goddamnit, have you seen them? Their neck looks so snappable.
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Dazai: We need a diversion. I say Y/N gets naked.
Chuuya: No.
Dazai: I could get naked.
The squad: NO!!!
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Chuuya: There are three ways to handle a difficult situation. The right way, the wrong way, and the Dazai way.
Y/N: Isn't that the wrong way?
Chuuya: Yes, but it's faster.
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Chuuya: You've been given a new job to do, but I'm worried it might make you angry.
Y/N: Just say it quick, like ripping off a band-aid.
Chuuya: You have to teach Dazai how to drive.
Y/N: ...put the band-aid back on.
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Chuuya, knocking on the door: Y/N, open up!
Y/N: It all started when I was a kid.
Chuuya: That’s not what I-
Dazai: Let them finish!
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Chuuya: Where are my fucking keys?
Dazai: Chuuya, Y/N is around, can you say it a little nicer?
Chuuya: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING KEYS?!
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A/N: Okay I'm gonna stop now bye~~
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Mafioso's weapon (Chuuya x fem reader)
FanfictionWhen you get transported into your favorite anime the last thing you expected was to end up being a weapon of the port mafia aswell as gaining the attention of a certain grumpy short king who is surprisingly your comfort character. THIS BOOK CONTAIN...
