A /N: just some more Incoorect Quotes including some sole port mafia x Y/N ones! Enjoy~
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Dazai: Don't worry, I got a plan.
Chuuya: Alright.
Dazai: TraitorSayWhat?
Y/N: Excuse me?
Dazai: What?
Chuuya:
Dazai:
Dazai: No wait-
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Dazai: Here's a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.
Chuuya: Dazai no.
Y/N: Mistlefoe.
Chuuya: Please stop encouraging them.
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Chuuya, holding a cauliflower in front of Dazai's face: What is this?
Dazai:... a cauliflower?
Chuuya to Y/N: Now tell him what you think it is.
Y/N, arms folded: Ghost broccoli
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Dazai: Who thinks I can fit 15 marshmallows in my mouth?
Y/N: You're a hazard to society
Chuuya: And a coward. DO TWENTY
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Chuuya: Hey Y/N,
Y/N: Yes?
Chuuya: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it's on?
Y/N:
Y/N: Where's Dazai?
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Chuuya, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.
Y/N: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!
Chuuya, with the tone of someone who is used to Y/N: Outstanding.
Chuuya: This is what I'm talking about people.
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Y/N, pointing: May I sit there?
Chuuya: That's my lap
Y/N: That doesn't answer my question, Chuuya.
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Chuuya: Okay, truth or dare?
Y/N: Truth
Chuuya: How many hours have you slept this week?
Y/N:
Y/N: ...Dare
Chuuya: Go to bed.
Y/N: I don't like this game.
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Y/N: Chuuya...
Chuuya: Oh no, 'Chuuya' in b-flat.
Chuuya: You're disappointed.
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Atsushi: Y/N, I'm sad.
Y/N: *Holds out arms for a hug* It's going to be okay.
Dazai: Chuuya, I'm sad.
Chuuya, nodding: mood
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Atsushi: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?
Dazai: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.
Chuuya: I personally was created in a lab.
Y/N: I just straight up spawned lol.
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Chuuya: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!
Dazai: Oh yeah? You're the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD
Chuuya: I'm leaving you, and I'M TAKING Y/N WITH ME
Atsushi, picking up the monopoly board: I think we're gonna stop playing now.
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Atsushi: Wake me up...
Dazai: Before you go go!
Chuuya: When September ends...
Y/N: WAKE ME UP INSIDE-
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Dazai: I've done a lot of dumb stuff.
Atsushi: I witnessed the dumb stuff.
Chuuya: I recorded the dumb stuff.
Y/N: I joined in on the dumb stuff.
Akutagawa: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!
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Atsushi: Good morning.
Dazai: Good morning.
Akutagawa: Good morning.
Y/N: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.
Chuuya: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS
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Dazai: Hewwo.
Gin: Hihiiiiii!
Akutagawa: Greetings, Humans.
Chuuya: Three kinds of people.
Higuchi: I want pudding.
Dazai: Four kinds of people.
Y/N: WHAT'S UP FUCKERS?
Chuuya: Five kinds of people
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*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Akutagawa: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.
Everyone:
Higuchi: ...I did. I broke it.
Akutagawa: No. No you didn't. Y/N?
Y/N: Don't look at me. Look at Dazai.
Dazai: What?! I didn't break it.
Y/N: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?
Dazai: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Y/N: Suspicious.
Dazai: No, it's not!
Chuuya: If it matters, probably not, but Gin was the last one to use it.
Gin: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!
Chuuya: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
Gin: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Chuuya!
Higuchi: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Akutagawa.
Akutagawa: No! Who broke it!?
Everyone:
Chuuya: Akutagawa... Y/N's been awfully quiet.
Y/N: rEALLY?!
*Everyone starts arguing*
Akutagawa, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Akutagawa: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Akutagawa:
Akutagawa: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
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Atsushi: Did you win? Or just not die?
Atsushi: Either way, hooray.
Y/N: ...Is "no" a valid answer?
Atsushi: The hooray is redacted and you frighten me.
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Dazai: This bloodline ends with me.
Chuuya: That's the fanciest way I've ever heard someone say "I'm gay".
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Chuuya: What's your body count?
Dazai: Do you mean sex or murder?
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Y/N: How did none of you hear what I just said?!
Chuuya: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.
Higuchi : I got distracted halfway through.
Akutagawa: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.
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Y/N: I truly believe that water can solve all your problems.
Chuuya: Weight loss? Drink water.
Higuchi : Clear skin? Drink water.
Akutagawa: Want to get rid of someone? Drown them.
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Chuuya: Your smile? It makes my day.
Y/N: Your happiness? I live for that.
Akutagawa: A room? Get one.
Higuchi : Hotel? Trivago.
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Higuchi: So oxygen went on a date with potassium, it went... OK.
Y/N: I thought oxygen was dating magnesium, OMG.
Higuchi: Actually oxygen first asked nitrogen out, but nitrogen was all like NO.
Chuuya: I thought oxygen had that double bond with the hydrogen twins.
Gin: Looks like someone's a HO.
Y/N: NaBrO.
Akutagawa: I'm done with all of you!
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Higuchi: Alright Gin, Akutagawa. Let's go over this one more time.
Higuchi: If something breaks?
Gin: We try to fix it before Chuuya gets home.
Higuchi: If it doesn't work?
Akutagawa: We blame Y/N.
Y/N: Seriously guys, what the hell?!
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Higuchi: Hey, can we stay in your dorm tonight?
Akutagawa: Why?
Higuchi: Y/N fiddled with an ouija board and cursed ours.
Gin: Chuuya doesn't know how to banish spirits, so they just throw salt at them and yell "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A HOTEL TO YOU?!"
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*In a group chat*
Akutagawa: A pegan just flew into my window.
Higuchi: Pegan?
Chuuya: A what?
Gin: Ah yes, my favourite bird, Pegan.
Y/N: I thought you said penguin for a second, LMAO!
Gin: Just a normal day with flying penguins crashing into my window.
Y/N: You have pigeons flying into your window? Can't relate, I have penguins flying into my window.
Akutagawa: I literally just made a typo-
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A/N: imma stop now! Bye~
YOU ARE READING
Mafioso's weapon (Chuuya x fem reader)
FanfictionWhen you get transported into your favorite anime the last thing you expected was to end up being a weapon of the port mafia aswell as gaining the attention of a certain grumpy short king who is surprisingly your comfort character. THIS BOOK CONTAIN...
