Dear Diary,
Today was as boring as yesterday. This time Caine set us a task to paint an image of our favourite person, which wasn't ourselves. When he said that he had looked at me. Yes I am my favourite person but no need to stare at me.
I chose Gangle. I chose her because I've seen her scared around me recently. I get i do keep smashing her mask and shoving her, but I never knew I went too far. I feel bad. When we finished we had to put them on a wall and guess who made who. I wasn't on there which hit me hard. Does no one care about me? I dunno. We had to stand by who we think made which one. Mine was third and no one thought it was me.
When I stepped forward saying it was mine they all stared at me. There was an awkward silence for a while until Ragatha spoke up. She was asking why. I could see that upset Gangle when she said that. I slowly walked over to her and she flinched. I knelt down and hugged her. I had closed my eyes, I didn't want to see anyone's reactions. I just apologised in which I think was a mutter. After the 'fun' was over I just went to my room. I hadn't realised Gangle followed me in.
My room wasn't much. Just keys that didn't work. I want to find that exit. I'm trying to stay stable but it isn't easy. I've been extremely close to abstracting I locked myself out of my room for a week. I sat in the corner and held my head tight. I feel like todays the day I find that exit. That's what my initial plan was. Until Gangle held my shoulder and asked if I was okay. I screamed like Kinger.
We looked at one another for a while until she sat down next to me, asking if I need to let my feelings out. At first I denied. They normally only ask one but when she asked again I broke down in tears. I didn't want to cry in front of any of them. She rubbed my back and listened to me. I told her about that I feel like I'm not cared about. I said I feel like I can't help the things I do to everyone, that it feels like I can't control what I do.
She listened to everything I had to release. Gangle reassured me that we do care and that she's there if I need. She held out her arms for a hug and I took it.
She then asked why I had so many keys and that there was more than the amount of rooms there were. I didn't want to tell her. I said that why was keys that I made incorrectly. She wasn't buying it. I held back my tears and told her that I'll tell her tomorrow.
She offered her hand and asked if I wanted to sleep in her room. She mentioned that I didn't have a bed and that she had a spare.How could someone I've hurt be so kind. I took her hand and thanked her. She showed me the room and the entire place was amazing. Much better than what I've lived in. I laid in my bed for the night and drifted to a cosy dream.
I'll write again soon.
-Jax
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Jax Angst (WIP tittle and book)
FanfictionJax is a 22 year old character who has been stuck in a digital circus for four years with no escape. The few years he's been there, two (and more to come) people have died with him watching. Jax is about to loose his mind until a older girl came thr...