Dead love in my hands (Troy Otto story/ Fear the walking dead/ ftwd)

Spectrum of emotions

When Madison and I walked up, Jake was already making arrangements with Walker.

"We'll just punish Nick and put him in the SHU for a while so he won't want to do it again."

"And what will happen to my brother?"

"He'll be banished."

I'm relieved. He wouldn't be killed.

Jake looked at Madison and me.

"Go to them. They're locked in the barn. I'll catch up with you."

When I saw Troy, he had already regained consciousness. He and Nick were handcuffed to an iron pipe. Both were silent with their heads down. I could see Otto was smiling and Nick was tense.

I walked over to Troy. He looked at me, and I slapped him.

"How could you!!! You're crazy! People could have died because of you!"

"I deserved it," he nodded, "you can slap me again."

And I slapped him again. And again. He didn't say a word. And then I felt so sorry for him. I pulled him to me.

"Troy, they're gonna kick you out."

"That's lucky. I thought they were going to quarter me in public," he laughed.

"You think that's funny? What are we going to do now?"

"We?! No, you're going to stay here, don't even think I'm taking you with me."

"That's not for you to decide, Troy."

"I'll probably die in there, Dell. I don't think they'll even give me water. I'm not going to doom you to that."

"Troy, you already have. Do you really think I can do it without you? You're my husband. I need you."

"I'm sorry. But I couldn't help myself. Something inside of me snapped when they came for the guns. I couldn't control it. If it hadn't been for Nick... I only wish my father had killed himself," he looked disapprovingly at his pipe neighbor, "he's not so honorable as it turns out, is he Nicky?"

"What does that mean?" I looked at Nick.

"That's exactly what it means. I killed him."

"What, why? Are you all crazy?!"

"Della," Madison interrupted me, "please don't, Jake's coming in here now. He can't know."

"Why do I have to keep my mouth shut?"

"I'll make sure you have something to take with you. You and Troy. I'll try to make sure you have food and water for the first few days of your journey."

I thought of that. I didn't have much choice. Even if Jake found out the real reason for his father's death, nothing would change. Troy would still get kicked out. This way, we had a chance to survive.

"And gas," I bargained, "we'll take my car."

Madison nodded. Just then, Jake walked into the barn.

"Troy, how could you! You're nothing but trouble!" He rushed over to his brother, "You're going to get kicked out, are you even thinking about anyone?!"

"Jake," I grabbed his shoulder, pulling him away from Troy, "don't, he's already heard everything from me. I'll go with him."

"What, are you out of your mind! No!"

"I'm not leaving him alone out there to die."

"Is that a good alternative? You want to starve to death outside the fence! I won't let you. I have to protect you!"

"We'll give them some supplies and gasoline," Madison interrupted his shouting, "since Della's leaving, it makes sense."

"No. Troy will be banished, not released."

"He's your brother Jake. And the supplies aren't for him now, they're for Della. She didn't do anything. Had she left under different circumstances, you would have given her what she needed."

Jake's been thinking.

"We should talk to Walker."

"No, Jake, you're in charge of the ranch now! Have some courage!" Nick was furious, and he decided to do his part in the conversation.

"Okay, we'll do it," grudgingly, but agreed Otto Sr. "We still have an opportunity. But you won't be coming back here again, so as not to provoke Walker into conflict."

"Yes, we won't, I promise."

"And Troy will stay here in handcuffs until morning," Jake added.

"Whatever you say," I raised my hands in agreement.

I felt so many things inside me that I couldn't pick one emotion out of all the sparkling ones. There was anger and resentment at Troy, then joy that he'd survived, then uncontrollable fear of the unknown. The sum of the sensations was powerful, but every summation in it was equal. What would happen next? To this question I had no answer.

Stepping out of the barn, I lifted my head to the sky and sighed. There were no stars in sight. Fluffy clouds covered the sky, and the moonlight shone through only slightly.