Dead love in my hands (Troy Otto story/ Fear the walking dead/ ftwd)

Yellow

We went to the ranch to get supplies. Troy acted quickly, as if he was afraid to scare off the moment when I agreed to go with him to El Bazaar. In general, I could have done it without him, but I knew that now I wouldn't be able to get rid of him anyway, so arguing and bickering would be a waste of energy. When we got in the car, Otto immediately turned on some AC/DC track. I immediately turned it off. Troy looked at me in surprise, but restrained himself.

"Do you not like the music or me?"

"I want to drive in silence."

"Are you still angry?"

"In silence, Troy!"  I raised my voice.

He grinned and fell silent.

We drove for about an hour before he spoke again.

"Look, Dell, there's a car there," Otto slowed down slightly and pointed with his right hand somewhere to the side, "let's take a look? Maybe there are supplies there?"

"Come on," I sighed.

"Aren't you coming?"

"No."

"Okay, I'll drive closer to her."

We drove off the asphalt and in a couple of minutes we were at the goal. The car turned out to be a minivan. It looked like a Ford. There were a few walking  wandering around, possibly former owners...

Troy carefully got out of the car. I don't think he was afraid of the dead, but rather worried that I would quickly move into his place and escape. I wouldn't do that. Even though he was a monster, I loved him. And quite strongly. So in my world, it was impossible to leave him alone to die in the desert. Although he would have survived anyway. After all, this is Troy Otto. I rolled my eyes at my own thoughts.

He had already dealt with the walking and was examining the interior of the car. He came back very soon.

"Hold," Troy tossed me the chocolate bars.

"What the fuck?!" I threw up my hands in surprise, so that the prey flew past and fell on the mat.

"What happened?" Otto raised an eyebrow.

"I just didn't expect it, you scared me."

"Yes, you are one of the timid ones... when it's not about any guys. You are not afraid of people like Dean, you go with them to the end of the world..."

"What did you say?"

"Della, don't take it to heart, I was just joking," he tried to make a soothing gesture with his hands, but I hit them.

"You scoundrel, Troy Otto!"

"Dell, come on. Well, what should I do?! I don't want to lose you!"

"You've already lost. The fact that we're going to El Bazaar together doesn't mean anything. We broke up. Do you understand?"

"No. I definitely don't understand this, why, because of a snotty boy who, by the way, abandoned you, are you ready to tear me apart?! Why do you want to leave?! Haven't I done enough for you?"

I turned to the window, thinking that the dialogue was over, but Otto grabbed my chin and turned me around to face him.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!" He growled.

"That's why," I said, nodding my eyes at his hand.

As soon as the phrase left my lips, Troy recoiled as if scalded.

"Dell... You drive me crazy, you know, I don't want to be like that, and..."

"Enough" I cut him off, "we have a lot to do."

We were silent all the way to El Bazaar. I didn't know what to say. He, too, I suppose.

After asking the guards about my family and the Clarks, we realized that the search would not be successful. According to our descriptions, they have not been seen here. But we had to make sure, so we had to come in. We paid with weapons that we had specially taken from the ranch. It was old, almost unusable, but it was enough for one day of penetration.

We were walking down the hallway where Clara and Troy almost got into a fight. Flashback assaulted me.

"Hey, is something wrong?"  Otto looked surprised.

"Nothing, let's go."

"Dell," he said, grabbing my shoulder, "please stop!"

"What do you want?"

"Let's talk."

"Do you have to do this now?"

"Yes. I can't take it anymore. I want everything back," he abruptly pressed me against the wall, "I love you!" Otto whispered.

"Tell me about it at a more appropriate moment!" I pushed him away and headed forward.

We haven't found anyone all day. We interviewed all the merchants and security guards, describing each of the wanted in turn, but alas... There was still time before morning. Troy made an appointment with someone for the night. We were allocated a small room. She looked decent. If that word applies to anything after the zombie epidemic.

I took a shower and wanted to go to bed. Troy was sitting on the bed. When I sat down next to him, he hugged me, but I pushed him away.

"That's enough, Dell! I missed you!"

"Find someone else! And you won't sleep in the same bed with me!"

"Are you kidding me? No. It's not a question. You're kidding me! Dell, I'm sorry!"

"Maybe later, but not now."

"I'm sick of all this! Do I really have to beg on my knees?! What do you want? Just say the word, I'll do anything! Please, let's just forget about everything?! I promise you I won't do anything wrong again!"

"I don't need anything," I said with complete indifference in my eyes.

"To hell with everything!" Otto spread his hands and walked out of our night shelter. 

I was left alone. I knew he would come back, but I was still worried about him. However that didn't stop me from falling asleep....

I opened my eyes to the fact that someone was stroking my head. Turning around, I saw Troy sitting on a chair by the bed.

"It's all your way," he raised his hands, "I'm just sitting next to you, not even on the bed! And by the way," he suddenly knelt down and took out a huge bouquet of some yellow flowers from somewhere, "you know, I'm not a romantic, but I wanted to surprise you, I'm ready to change. Give me a chance, Dell."

"Yellow at parting."

"What?"

"The sign is this: yellow flowers at parting."

Otto went to the window, opened it and swung a bouquet at him.

"Stop! What are you doing?! I'm kidding, leave them alone!"

Troy sat down on the edge of the bed and handed me a bouquet.

"I do not know what kind of flowers you like. But these seem beautiful to me."

"The flowers are really beautiful. Thank you."

"Dell... I love you. I'm ready for anything, just give me the opportunity to fix it. I'll try. I'm already trying. I'll get a lot better. I'll take care of you, I'll trust you. I promise."

I looked into his eyes. He looked broken. I don't know why, but I couldn't refuse him. Probably because I loved her so much... But it's so hard to believe again. What if nothing changes? What if it only gets worse?

"And what, now you're going to say that everything will be fine with us?"

"I won't tell you. Because I don't know how it will be, but I promise, I will try for you, for us. Just let's try it?"

I wanted to believe him so much. I loved him so much. Inside me, everything was cramping at the thought that we would no longer be together.