Dead love in my hands (Troy Otto story/ Fear the walking dead/ ftwd)

A source

In the morning I woke up alone again. It was almost 9 o'clock. The sound of hammering and people's voices could be heard outside the window. The work was already in full swing. I got up and went to the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, I found that I began to look much better than a couple of days ago.

"I slept well," I said to myself.

Warm streams of water poured over my body. I would have liked to stay in the shower longer, but still it was impossible to waste supplies once again. We need to wait until the water source is set up for us. In the meantime, 5 minutes in the shower. And thank you for not using a stopwatch.

When I returned to the room, I found Troy there.

"You're already up, and I was just about to wake you up for breakfast."

"Yes, I woke up late today, I'm sorry."

"You have nowhere to hurry. Besides, after such a saturated night?

"What are you talking about?"

"I was watching your cute conversation with that guy from the window. Romantic..."

"Troy, you..."

"Yes," he made a stopping gesture with his hand, "I misunderstood. I've already heard it from him. So from now on, so that I understand everything "correctly", I advise you to be in our bed at night, and not hang out with the devil knows who."

"What? Have you talked to him?"

"Yes, the young man is arrogant, besides with a character. I don't like him. I warned him that if I saw him here again, he wouldn't like the consequences either."

"Troy, you're overreacting..."

"I wonder how you would react if I got out of bed in the middle of the night and went to talk to one of the new girls here? Would you clap your hands with happiness? No, I'm sure you would have given me a scandal, Dell."

"Troy, I just couldn't sleep, I went out for a walk, and we met by chance."

"If you can't sleep, you can wake me up. I'm your man, it's me who should be smoking cigarettes with you at two in the morning, discussing all sorts of nonsense, and not the devil knows who! Come to your senses!"

"You haven't slept much in the last few days! Why would I wake you up?!"

"This is not an excuse. You know that if you feel bad, then I will always support you, I did," he sat down on the edge of the bed, "You know that everything I do, I do for you!"

"Stop saying that! I didn't ask you to do any of this! I didn't ask you to do that!"

"You don't have to ask me. I know what's best for you."

"Oh, of course!" I said sarcastically.

He raised an eyebrow, as if wanting to continue the quarrel, but after a while he just shook his head, exhaled and got out of bed.

"Okay, I've had enough, I'm leaving. If you want to talk, I'll be with the team."

"Troy... Wait, please," he turned around lazily, "tell me, what about the source?"

"In three or four days he will become our new sponsor of water."

"We need to bring my family and Clarks here. I asked Alyosha, they had weapons, so they are definitely in the El Bazaar, they have something to pay for admission."

Troy listened to me to the end and answered dryly and concisely:

"No."

"What?"

"No."

"Why?"

"They left, it's their choice, I'm not going to run after anyone."

"We don't ask you to run after them. Alisha and I ourselves..."

"I won't let you go alone, and I don't have time."

I ran after him into the hallway.

"But you can't decide that!"

"I can. I'm in charge here."

"But I want to see my loved ones!"

"I should be enough for you."

"And you know what... Go to hell! Why am I even asking you. I'll go myself and find everyone. Right now!"

After my words, Troy stopped. He was almost out of the house, so he had to turn around to come to me. We quickly found ourselves next to each other again, because he literally ran up to where I was standing. Grabbing my forearm, Troy pushed me against the wall.

"You're not going anywhere," his low, quiet voice scared me, and I pressed myself even more against the wall, "I'll tell everyone around the perimeter not to let you out."

"You wouldn't dare."

"Yes, I dare. I'm sick of your disrespect. Should I lock you in the basement again? Calm down. And don't cry," he noticed how my eyes filled with tears, "it won't help you in any way."

"Troy, what's wrong with you?" I whispered. Suddenly he let go of my hand and recoiled to the opposite wall. There was concern in his eyes. We were silent for quite a long time, it seemed to me. He was the first to break the silence.

"Della, we'll find your family and the Clarks as soon as we solve the problems out the source. I promise."

I just realized that I was still pressing myself into the wall. Otto came up to me again, but this time the rudeness was replaced by hugs.

"I didn't mean to. Did not want. Did not want..."

I said nothing and turned away. 

"Dell, I'm sorry. I really didn't want to."

There was no remorse in his voice. It didn't surprise me, but it scared and drove me crazy. If he doesn't feel love for me, compassion, then why all this...

My thoughts were interrupted by Otto when he grabbed my elbow again. I screamed.

"All right, Troy. Just let me go, please!"

He loosened his grip.

"I'm going to take a census of everyone who is here," I said it calmly, as if nothing had happened. But in my soul I felt sick. Was Madison right when she said he was dangerous?

"Dell, just trust me, I didn't mean to."

"Yes. But you did it again."

"I'm sorry. I'm out of control."

"You threatened me with the basement, Troy. Do you remember how your father locked you in there as a child? How did you feel? Why are you doing this to me?"

He hugged me to him.

"I promise that I will try my best. Sorry."

Again, promises that he won't keep. I know it. 

I remember all these romantic phrases like, "he's a monster, but I know his kind soul, which no one knows about." But this is not my situation. Yes, he really is a monster. I see it and I don't leave. Why, why am I not leaving...?