Falling into the Chaos

Twenty-Two: Jealousy, Jealousy

Zoya

The warm water enveloped me like a comforting embrace, the steam rising around me as I sank deeper into the tub.

I closed my eyes, letting the soothing heat wash over my skin, but no amount of warmth could ease the turmoil swirling in my mind.

I had thought a bath would help me clear my head, but instead, the memory of our conversation replayed like a haunting melody, each note sharp and painful.

"Zoya, we weren't supposed to get involved like this." Adi's words echoed in my thoughts, a reminder of the boundaries we had crossed.

I could still see the way he had looked at me, the frustration etched on his face, the way his voice had trembled with unspoken fears.

I submerged my shoulders in the water, trying to drown out the memories, but they clung to me like the steam in the air. I had come here to escape, to breathe, to be free from the weight of expectations and responsibilities. But instead, I had found myself tangled in a web of emotions I wasn't prepared to face.

"Not to fall for anyone," I whispered to myself, recalling the way Adi had challenged me, his eyes searching mine for answers I didn't have.

I had wanted to tell him that I didn't want to think about the future, that I just wanted to enjoy the moment, but the truth was, I was terrified.

Terrified of terrified of losing myself in him.

We were planning a marriage not out of love, but for convenience, inheritance, and property rights. It felt absurd, yet here we were, caught in a storm of desire and chaos.

"Can we just not think about it?" I had pleaded, but Adi's frustration had been palpable. He was right; we couldn't keep pretending that everything was fine when it was anything but.

I sighed, running my fingers through the water, watching the ripples dance around me.

I... I felt more trapped than ever.

The thought of marrying him, of being bound to him in any way, sent shivers down my spine.

But what if I didn't want to let go? What if I wanted him, despite the chaos?

I bit my lip, feeling the familiar ache of longing.

I needed him like a drug, and it was complicating everything.

The thought of him made my heart clench painfully.

"Why is this so complicated?" I murmured to myself, frustration bubbling up again.

I splashed some water over my face, trying to clear my mind, but the truth was, I was scared. Scared of what I felt for Adi, scared of the future, and scared of losing the little freedom I had fought so hard to reclaim.

As I sat there, surrounded by the warmth of the water, I realized that I couldn't ignore what was happening between us. I wanted to be with him, but I also needed to protect myself.

"Rules," I whispered, recalling the way I had suggested boundaries.

It felt like a desperate attempt to regain control, but deep down, I knew it was a fragile solution.

I took a deep breath, letting the steam envelop me, hoping it would somehow clear the fog in my mind.

I needed to figure this out-what I wanted, what I was willing to risk.

"Rules"

I inhaled deeply, the air thick and hot, hoping it would clear the fog of confusion in my mind. But it didn't, not really.