Risk it All [GxG]

11| Still Happy Aniv Bella?

"Everything's good?" Miggy concernedly asked.

I smiled then placing down my phone. I know how much he's noticing my constant checking, in hope that Erin will at least message me. "Hmm" I hummed.

We've talked about what we missed for 2 years and I couldn't escaped when he asked me about Erin and I current relationship status, which is super complicated.

And right now he's pinching the bridge of his nose while faintly chuckling "what? What did you just said about you and Erin?"he then look at me, "I can't believe that you're willing to risk it all because of Erin. No offense, Bells. But you've changed..... not in a better way"

There it is again, this stupid tears in the corner of my eyes.

"Look at you Bells. You are the toughest and bravest girl I ever met. You're smart Isabella before meeting Erin. You love yourself, you prioritize yourself and most especially, you respect yourself Isabella. You are so great at everything. You don't give a damn to others opinions. But looking at you right now—this isn't what I'm expecting to see after 2 years"

"I know but I really love her so much Miguel" I paused, attending the fallen tears using the back of my hand "that the things that I valued before is starting to make nonsense if it means loosing her. I need to fight for this, for us. This sounds crazy but I don't think I can let her go. She's my everything and for two years that my family cut me off, she was there and my world becomes her"

"Got it" little did I know he's already holding my hand tightly as his other hand is gently caressing my wet cheeks from unawarely crying, again. Goddamn this tears. "You do you until you get tired but you know you have to stop if it's killing you"

For the nth time, I checked my phone for any hopeless message from Erin but the day is almost over and she still hasn't drop any message.

".....still no message?"

I lightly nodded while wiping this goddamn tears and staring down to my phone screen.

"I guess she forgot what's today"

Right there I could no longer hold the continues sobbing—-Of how Miguel remembered today's Erin and I anniversary but the person I'm looking forward on it, completely, utterly forgot it.

- ———-

Miguel dropped me off to our condo even though he insisted to at least take me out for a night. I just couldn't function normally because even if I try? It will always be me, constantly crying.

Audrey: Isabella!
Me: Yeah?
Audrey: Where's your girlfriend???? RN? Isn't today is your 3rd year anniversary??
Me: Yes.
Audrey: Then what the fuck she's doing with Daphne?? I followed Daphne in insta and she posted Erin pictures. ROADTRIP. Look! JUST THE TWO OF THEM!

I dropped the phone in the floor.

As my hand is starting to shake uncontrollably with the beating of my heartbeat accelerating....

For a second, I wasn't aware that I was holding my breathing while everything feels like disorienting and being deafening by a sound of a thin line.

Suddenly I couldn't function as I gripped the edge of the kitchen counter, surrendering my body weight because it feel like my knees are getting weak.

That anytime sooner, my body will drop down in the floor....

That everything is starting to feel so damn cold. My hands, feet and whole body.

I don't know what's happening to me, but it felt like I was stripped down naked and couldn't even shake myself from paralyzation.

Wake up Isabell.

For hours, I tried to calm myself down. To breathe through my nose while keeping in tucked. And I've been calling Erin for countless times now with a lot of terrible scenarios playing raw inside my head....

But the sudden sound of jingling keys made my senses back to reality.

Past midnight and Erin is walking casually in her black shirt, ripped jeans and black cap, just exactly what's in the photo.

"Are you with Daphne the whole time?"

Seems like she's not expecting me to see until this hour "Isabella"

"Do you at least even remember what day is today? Because this isn't you Erin" I had to pause, to breathe because looking at her is making my chest tighter "You always, always surprises me and never once you missed. It's so hard when you made me so used to it......because now I start to look forward until it no longer exists. To witness one day, the person I love so much has changed so easily. Why? Why did you suddenly changed love?" I'm so tired for continuously crying the whole time. It hurts so damn much, that every time I took one step to fix us, she always step back 10x farther from me.

But instead of us talking and solving our problem, she runs her fingers over her head after taking off the cap and just stayed quiet. But I never had this silence quite this loud....

".....Isabella, I'm sorry"

Then watching how her head tilted to the side where our favorite carrot cake was sitting on top of the breakfast counter with an unlit number 3 on top of it.

The guilt in her face is so imminent that it deepens my pain. Of how it's clear that the person I was looking forward to surprise me, completely tossed it but rather spend a day with another girl.

I stand up, too tired of crying today. My eyes are already sore.

"Guess we don't need this too" then grab the cake and stepping on the trash bin pedal then throw it, like how she threw our relationship over a trash.

"....I'm tired, gonna sleep now" I say without minding to look at her and just went straight to our bedroom and laid down.

I clenched my chest. I couldn't properly breathe. I couldn't even stabilize how my chest is rising abruptly. Let alone, I'm trying so hard to hide the sobbing by placing my hand to my mouth so she couldn't hear it yet I rushed inside the bathroom for feeling like throwing up although I barely ate the whole day.