Risk it All [GxG]

37| Shit Day

My gaze softened after hearing her softly begging for me to come back "Yes Erin" I sweetly responded but the softness in my eyes immediately turned blank "is that what you're expecting me to say? What? one sorry, one beg and everything works like a magic?"

"Bella"

"Do you think I'm the same person before? Do you think I'm that stupid to believe your trashy words after letting me feel like the most unworthy person that time? And maybe yes Erin, maybe you have your reason but it won't change what you made me feel. Back there? was a torture, a hell, and there are no ways for you to heal it. And I wouldn't want to feel that very the same feeling of picking up my pieces from the floor. The feeling of questioning myself why I wasn't enough? That I had to drawn myself to alcohol just to forget you. That even Bee was already there? I had to drink myself at night because the pain never leaves. I had to ask myself, over and over again, of why. Why did you not choose me? Of how can you tell me those words knowing that it is stings? And I really wish that you just hurt me but no. No, you didn't just hurt me. And no it wasn't just a wound that you made. It is the whole me. You just didn't leave me. You just didn't broke up with me that day. You just didn't forget our anniversary and went home late. You just didn't make me feel incomplete and insecure. You, killed my confidence that day, the trust, that right now I have big issues of. You make me question my value, my worth. It felt like you crashed the whole me and it broke into pieces that still now, I'm still damn picking. You made me feel so fucking insecure about my face, my body. You didn't just cheat Erin and it doesn't matter if it was for a show because what you did feels so damn real. So how dare you to tell me that you just did a stupid choice?"

****

"Hey babe, you ok?" Audrey snapping me back to where we are......wedding gown hunting.

I tried to smile with a nod but what happened last night is annoyingly pinned in my head.

"Ok, what are we looking for and where is the happy bride?" A woman in her professional black sexy suit appears into the room.

Her blue eyes locked on me "you must be Marian"

"Isabella" I corrected in deadpan.

She smiled but can tell the other side she hides "I'm Daniella, good friend of Glen. He personally requested me to assist his beautiful bride"

We all tilted our heads when the door opened and a woman in her late 50s entered with a sweet smile in her face.

"Mrs. Laurent what a surprise!" Daniella hurriedly walk towards Glen mother.

Well for starters, his mom seems sweet with the way she smiles to all of us "You must be Marian"

For fuck sake "Isabella" then smiled but can tell Maddison and Audrey eyes pinning at me.

"Oh.....but I like Marian, it's a pretty name. It sounds sweet and delicate"

I smiled before reaching for the champagne, guess, like mother like son. Very annoyingly persistent and pushy.

"I'm Glenda, Glen mom and he told me to surprise you. So surprise! I'm here to help you out dear and also get to know my son mysterious out of the blue fiancé"

I have no words to say other than fuck and more champagne please.

"So, what is our theme?" Daniella asking in clasped hands.

"Simple long dress, it's just a simple wedding" I say

"I love ball gowns" Glen mother placing her unsolicited opinion, then looks at me, still with her sweet smile "big gowns suits her better. And dear, 200 pax is not a simple wedding. Can you show us few pieces Daniella?" she softly asked, tilting her head to Daniella.

"Sure thing! Will back in a bit" Daniella stated before marching out the room.

Mrs. Laurent look to my friends before Maddison starts to introduce herself and Audrey after "what a cute little angel" she complimented.

Audrey brought baby Addy, also they're not fond of having a nanny and I think that's a good choice.....but there's part of me wish that I had that option too when I had bee. But I have to work, for us.

"Oh, Marian, where's Bri?"

I inhaled calmly while feeling Maddison hands on top of me "she's with her mama and it's bee Mrs. Laurent, my daughter personally prefers that" just like her method, I sweetly smiled and she looked a little bit taken aback.

"Oh....ok, too bad, I really want to meet your daughter"

And just before I feel like exploding in near seconds, Daniella returned, holding 2 huge gowns with other two girls holding few of it.

"Are we excited?" She asked in pitchy.

****

"Mommy!" Bee run towards me the moment she sees me at the airport "you came! I thought you're busy all day?" she frowns after looking down to my flight ticket "where are you going mommy?"

I look to Erin and shot her a pissed shut up glare.

Today is the day that Erin will take bee to meet her family.

"Are you going with us??" Bee excitedly asked.

"Yes" I need vacation to breathe and most especially, be away from toxic, commanding people or I might loose it before the wedding.