Harry Styles Fanfiction - Remember Me?

Chapter 205

**HARRYS POV**
It's been a whole month since the surgeries. I was really glad that I was getting better much faster than expected which was relieving, especially because I needed to be there for Y/n and be strong enough for her. I was able to drive again and go back to work, meaning I was back for meetings and important stuff that needed to be done for the release of my first album. I was slowly going back to work out a little with the approval and instructions of my doctor, but I didn't go back to recording and physical things like performing just yet.

I still needed to take care of myself a bit, especially because the Dunkirk shoot was gonna start soon and I needed to be ready by then which the doctor assured me I would be.

Today though, we were gonna find out if Y/n was okay or if the cancer was still progressing which would be the worst case scenario. Nothing was sure yet and it made all of us incredibly nervous. She was finally able to go in and make the tests they needed to check everything. They wanted to wait until she was off the strong painkillers, which we both were last week, so we went in for a check up and they made all those tests.

Y/n and I sat in doctor Russell's office, waiting for him to tell us all about the results while Gemma and my mum waited outside in the waiting room.
I held Y/n's hand as she sat next to me and she gripped it tightly, her hands shaking out of nervousness when doctor Russell looked up from the charts.

„Good news first." He said which already made my heart race. It meant he did have bad news too. „Your liver is fine, it looks perfectly well. The surgery was a success and your body isn't rejecting it. That's very good."

„And uhm...what's the bad news?" Y/n asked, her voice quiet.

„As you know, we did various tests, ultrasounds and everything we needed to check your whole body." He started explaining.

„Yes..." Y/n nodded.

„We looked st everything and saw some things...I'm incredibly sorry to tell you..."

Y/n's grip on my hand tightened even more and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I placed my other hand on top of hers to give her some sort of safety.

„...unfortunately the cancer is back." Doctor Russell said the words we feared most to hear. Y/n immediately looked down, tears forming in her eyes as she tried to hold back her sobs. „It's in your lymph nodes this time. Unfortunately it spread on both sides." He continued explaining, but everything he said felt like a blur to me. I was listening, but then at the same time I wasn't...I couldn't. I couldn't believe this was happening again. We were so hopeful and thought after the surgery everything would get better. That she'd be okay.

„What...what- uhm, what's gonna happen now?" I asked the doctor.

„We'll have to continue with chemo treatment, but this time it has to be more aggressive." He kept on explaining and explaining until finally we could leave.

I grabbed Y/n's hand and held her close to my body as I realized she was a bit shaky on her legs when we went out the door and through the hallway towards the waiting area.

„Harry I- I..." She stopped mid way and looked up at me. „I'm gonna die." Her voice cracked.

„No you're not." I shook my head immediately, tears pooling in my eyes. „You're not gonna die, do you hear me?"

„It's never been this bad, Harry...you heard what he said." Her voice was trembling as she held onto both my hands as tight as she could. „I can't do this anymore."

„That doesn't mean it's impossible. Y/n, baby...don't give up now. Please...you can't give up. We've come so far... You promised me to live...please." I begged her, my voice breaking. „We still wanna get properly married and have that big wedding...this is not it, Y/n..." Tears ran down my cheeks. „We haven't started our own family yet and you promised...you promised you'd be there for my first solo show. I know it's hard for you and you're tired, but you have to live. You're so young, you still got so many dreams in life...and I fucking need you. I need you, Y/n...you have to keep fighting...please. Don't give up." More tears fell.

She stepped closer and cupped my cheeks, wiping my tears away with her thumbs. She looked into my eyes and nodded slowly. „I love you, H...and I'll fight for you and our love. I don't wanna leave you either, Harry...but I'm so fucking scared."

„I know you are. I am too, but you can do this. You will live, okay? And you will ring that damn bell." I promised her.

„Okay." She nodded, silent tears running down her cheeks. „I love you so much, Harry."

„Love you more, angel." I pulled her in my arms and hugged her tight, not wanting to let her go ever again. „You'll win this fight, Y/n." I whispered in her ear.

She just nodded against my chest as I rubbed her back. „The hard part comes now...we have to tell Anne and Gemma about it." She sighed.

„I know...do you need a minute before we go in there?" I asked her, her face still pressed against my chest.

„Yeah, just a second. I...I have to, I-." She sighed, not even knowing what to say.

„It's okay, you don't need a reason. Take the time you need." I kept rubbing her back soothingly, holding her close to me.

„I'm so scared, Haz. I went through this many times, but I've never been this scared because of it." She admitted.

„I'm sorry, my love. I'm sorry you have to feel this way. I can't imagine what you must feel. I promise, I'll always be here for you and do everything I can to help you."

She nodded again against my shoulder. „I uhm...I think...I wanna call my mum." She suddenly said.

I closed my eyes, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill. She never ever wanted to get in touch with her mum again. It's been so many years and she never wanted to see her again. Her saying she wanted to call her just confirmed the situation to be as serious and bad as it was. Her wanting to call her mum could only mean that she knew this could end very badly very soon. I never thought she wanted to get back in touch with her family ever as she told it to me herself...now I got how fucking bad the situation really was and it broke me.

„You can call her if you want to, love. She's your mother after all." I told her, trying to hide the sadness in my voice.

„Do you think she'd even care?"

„You're her daughter, Y/n. It's been many years, maybe she's changed and is just scared to get in touch with you." I said. „You'll only find out if you call her. I'm not stopping you. No one is, it's your decision." I told her, running my hand through her soft hair.

„I've never thought about it this way...you're right. I think...yeah, I think I'll call her."

„Okay, we will when we're back home, okay?" I let go of the hug, holding onto both her arms and looking into her glossy eyes.

„Yeah, okay." She nodded before she got on her tiptoes and pressed her lips hard on mine.