Harry Styles Fanfiction - Remember Me?

Chapter 270

December 2018
**YOUR POV**
„You know, the song...it sounds like a break up song or something, but that's not what it is. I kind of did that on purpose, so people wouldn't instantly know what it really was about." Harry started to explain to me.

„What is it really about then?" I asked him, moving my hand from his cheek to his arm.

„I wrote Falling during a dark time...for both of us. I don't really wanna go back there again, but I wrote it while you were sick." He told me before he continued. „There's something that I deeply regret to this day..." He stopped for a second before he continued again. „The day you found out that the cancer was back, we had a fight and I was mad at you for something so stupid. You told me you had this appointment, but I didn't care to ask, because I was still so mad...I just left the house that morning and went to the studio..." He didn't look at me as he told me that and I listened carefully. I could tell he felt incredibly bad or even ashamed. „You messaged and called me several times, but I ignored it, because I put my phone on silent...until I actually read through your messages and listened to your voice note. That was when I knew something was really fucking wrong and I went home as fast as I could and then you told me."

„Harry, no...don't do that to yourself. I don-."

„No, Y/n. This is something that I regretted ever since. I was mad at you for an absolute stupid reason. If I just asked about your appointment...I could have been there. You wouldn't have had to go through this news alone. I would have been there or at least sooner. I would have been there to hold your hand and to tell you it would all be okay... You went there all alone, you were alone when you found out and then you came home all alone and I wasn't even here. I should have been there for you."

I shook my head, not believing he would torture himself over this. Over something that wasn't his fault. „Babe, listen to me." I waited until he looked up, his eyes filled with regret. „Do not blame yourself for not being there the day I found out. Please don't." I gave his hand another gentle squeeze. „First of all, it wasn't stupid. I did something stupid and you were mad at me rightfully. What happened next wasn't in either of our power. I won't ever blame you for not being there or for being mad, because when I needed you, you were there...in an instant. You were there throughout all of it and you have been the absolute best through and through. You were there at my worst and you stayed. I will never stop appreciating that." I told him, looking deeply into his eyes so he would get that I really meant what I said. „Fights happen, Haz. It was just at an unfortunate time. Don't blame yourself...don't torture yourself with this, okay?" I repeated before I went to wrap my arms around him again and hugged him very tightly, giving him some comfort as he nodded against me. „I love you so much, Harry."

„Love you more, Y/n." He said quietly with a deep breath as if he felt incredibly relieved that what he's been holding in for over a year was finally out.

„The song is incredible, H. Absolutely beautiful. I love everything you write, you're an extraordinary writer, but there's just something about your slower, sad songs. They always hit the spot in everyone's hearts." I told him as I let go of him. „I'm so very proud of you."

He smiled a little. „Thank you, your opinion is always the most important to me. Thanks, baby." He kissed my lips.

„You're very welcome." I smiled back. „Now, no being sad though. It's Christmas eve."

*

Harry and I had a wonderful Christmas together. We cooked, we baked, we opened presents we got for each other and had a very much needed beautiful time together as a couple. After what had happened in October with the miscarriage, this was the happiest I've been ever since and it was mostly because Harry made it all so much better.

Today was December 31st and tonight we'd celebrate into the new year 2019 with Sarah, Mitch and some more of our friends at some karaoke bar that Harry and Mitch loved to go to every now and then.

As the time came, we all met up there. Harry and I were the last ones to arrive as we were stuck in traffic, but we eventually made it. After Harry parked the car somewhere near the bar, we got out and he slid his hand in mine, holding it firmly while we crossed the busy street that would lead to the entrance. We entered the noble and expensive looking bar and went to find our friends who sat at one of the round tables, chatting and laughing away. They instantly waved us over when they saw us and Harry and I went to greet them all before we sat down in the chairs they reserved for us.

„It's so good to see you again, Y/n. I need some girl talk." Sarah said with a big smile when I placed myself next to her while Harry sat on my other side.

I moved a little closer to her since it was quite loud around us. „Yesss, so good to see you again too. How have you been? How was LA?"

„I'm doing good, thanks. LA was great! It was so much fun to be back there. The atmosphere was amazing." She told me. „How about you though? You're in the middle of tour, how is everything?"

„Tour is going great so far. I missed it so much and being back on stage performing just feels incredible."

„I can only imagine. I'm glad you're doing good and that you're happy. That's the most important thing." She smiled.

„Definitely, yeah." I nodded, smiling back at her.

We kept on chatting with each other and had drinks together. Harry was at his fifth drink at some point, having fun and not really paying attention to how many shots he had as I noticed he was drunk by the way he acted, but I didn't mind at all. He had fun and I could only drink mocktails anyways so going back home in our own car wouldn't be a problem.
Also, drunk Harry was a mix of adorable, chaotic and clumsy, so when he eventually took the small stage of the karaoke bar and decided to sing Smells Like Teen Spirit from Nirvana while wearing glasses that said „2019", I wasn't surprised at all and just sang and danced along.