Harry Styles Fanfiction - Remember Me?

Chapter 227

**YOUR POV**
I was really glad to finally be back home. Even though Harry, Anne and Gemma tried go come to the hospital as much as they could, I still felt so lonely and sad having to be there. I never told Harry, but I basically cried myself to sleep every single night. Not just because I felt lonely, but also because I was so scared and this has all gotten so much to handle emotionally.

The evening, Harry brought me back home, we all had dinner which was great, but I didn't eat much as I wasn't that hungry. As usual. Afterwards I felt way too exhausted to stay up and watch tv or something so I went straight to bed in our bedroom that I missed so much while Harry helped Anne clean up downstairs.

I snuggled into the warmth of the soft sheets and the comfortable cushions. I noticed one of Harry's hoodies lying on his side of the bed and grabbed it, placing it on my cushion before I rested my head on it. I smiled a little as it still smelled like him before I eventually fell asleep on it.
I woke up again not long later to the sound of cabinets opening and closing. Harry crouched down in front of the closet, opening and closing every single cabinet and drawer.

„What are you looking for?" I asked him as I sat up, rubbing my eyes.

He turned around. „Did I wake you up? Sorry I didn't mean to."

„It's fine, H. Now what are you looking for?"

„My red hoodie. I thought I left it here somewhere. It's probably somewhere downstairs."

„Wait no, it's here." I stopped him from leaving and held up his hoodie. „Sorry, I found it earlier and it smelled like you. Must have fallen asleep on it. Here." I held it out for him.

He smiled at me sweetly. „It's okay. Keep it, I just thought I lost it somewhere." He said before he approached the bed and laid down on it right in front of me. „How are you feeling?" He asked softly.

„I'm fine." I assured him with a little smile. „Haz, can I ask you something?"

„Of course. Anything." He sat up so he was facing me properly.

„How are you doing?" I emphasized the ‚you'.

„I'm fine sweetie. Why do you ask?" He wondered with a small smile.

„We haven't talked about this a lot and I know this time we're going through with the cancer and all has been a lot on you as well. How are you really doing, H? It's important to me to know how you feel."

It didn't take long for his eyes to fill with tears. „I was falling apart honestly...but I'm alright now that I know you're better." He said quietly. „I didn't want you to know how I feel. I had to be strong for you and I felt like I shouldn't say anything, knowing what you're going through. You shouldn't have to feel bad about me being sad or feel even sadder yourself."

„Oh Harry, my sunshine." I scooted forward to wrap my arms around him. „You're human, you have feelings and you need to let those out at some point too. I don't want you to bottle up everything." I squeezed him tightly. „I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't tell me about your feelings. You can talk to me about anything anytime."

He nodded against my shoulder. „Thanks. I love you so much."

„Love you more, Haz." I let go of him as he kissed my lips and reached my hand up to his face to gently wipe his tears away. „Are you really alright?"

„Yeah." He nodded. „Knowing you're better makes me feel better." He smiled a little.

„Okay, I'm glad."

„I don't want you to worry about me though." He said.

„You're my life, I'll always worry about you, H."

„You shouldn't right now." He tilted his head.

„You know me, so you'll know I'll never stop." I chuckled. „Seriously, I'm glad you're feeling okay." He just smiled a little before I wrapped my arms around him again. „You're the sweetest person ever, Harry. I love you so much."

I could feel him smile against me. „And I love you, my darling." He said, rubbing my back soothingly. „Hey if you're tired, just go back to sleep okay? Don't let me keep you up." He let go of me, his hands brushing down my arms while doing so.

„No it's fine, I've had enough sleep for now." I shook my head.

„What would you like to do then, love? Movie night or something?" He asked softly.

„You know what I'd really like to do?"

He shook his head.

„Can we go out on a walk? Just us two? Like we used to do?" I asked him.

„Sweetie, I don't know. I don't want you to tire yourself out. I know you feel better, but that doesn't mean you should overdo it right now." He sighed, sounding concerned.

„I won't overdo it. Please, I can do it. I feel strong enough. It's just a walk. I wanna get out even if it's just for a few minutes. Please Harry."

„Are you sure?" He asked me. „I just...I don't know, lovie."

„Harry...please. I am sure."

„Alright fine. But we'll go back as soon as it's too much." He commanded.

I nodded quickly before I got up and out of bed. I went to put my shoes and a jacket on and so did Harry. He placed his hand in mine and we headed outside.
We slowly walked hand in hand down the street and I enjoyed it so much. Finally breathing in some fresh air in our neighborhood and feeling a little closer to life again. Small things like this made me so happy at this time.

„Harry?" I asked for him at some point as we walked towards a quieter street.

„Yes, my love?"

„There's something I still wanna talk to you about regarding our conversation earlier. It's probably a rather sensitive thing to you, but I still want to address it." I told him.

„Okay...what is it?" He wondered.

„Quite a while ago, you told me that when I left you back in 2013, you started to drink a lot and that it made you end up in the hospital." I started.

„Yeah..." He nodded, probably feeling a little ashamed of it, so I gave his hand a gentle, reassuring squeeze.

„You know...uhm...I know that before the transplant you've started to drink quite a bit again because of the stress and worries."

„Oh...you know." He said silently, looking down, so I stopped and lifted his chin up with my finger so that he would look at me.

„I do and I just want you to know that it's okay, but please...don't do this to yourself." I pleaded silently. „Please. This is not you, honey."

He nodded slowly. „I know...I've stopped a while ago especially after the transplant. I haven't drunken ever since." He explained. „I'm sorry."

„No, it's okay. I just don't want you to fall back into an old habit and destroy yourself."

„I won't I promise." He assured me, pulling me closer to his side.

„Okay. Love you."

„Love you too, sweetie." He said before he pressed a kiss to my head.