Force Majeure

THE LAST SONG: 🎶 One More Day 🎶

"Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back." -Mitch Albom; For One More Day

***
GREGGY's POV:

Three months later...

Help arrived an hour later after the armed rebels left me bleeding on the floor. They saved my life by bringing me to the hospital just in time.. but not Irene.

Just before they wheeled to me the operating room, I remember shouting for my phone. We all anticipated the call... but it never came.

Hours, days.. weeks.. months have passed, still.. we have not heard not a single word from them.
Even with the best efforts I could muster from different team and resources, we still came up with nothing.

Hindi pa rin namin mahanap si Irene.
Hindi ko pa rin maiuwi ang asawa ko.

I feel so hopeless and lonely all the time. My only source of love and hope is gone, and I cannot do anything but to wait and watch as time passes by.

As I look at Bailey and Jammy, I feel another wave of desperation washing over me.

Where are you, Baby?

FUCK!

Irene naman! Just please come back, please.

I can hear knocking outside my door but I am too tired to even give a shit to who could that be.

'Greggy.. anak.'

I hate to admit it, but I am blaming my mother for what happened! Had she not sent Irene all alone in Bulacan, then all these nightmares would never have happened!

"Ma.."
'Anak, kain ka na. O gusto mo na ipadala ko dito sa kwarto mo ang pagkain?'
"No need, I'm not hungry"
'Pero Greggy.. anak baka magkasakit ka.'
"And? So be it! I'm really okay, Ma. I want to be alone."

'Ano ka ba naman Gregorio! It's been three months, kailan ka pa mag mo move on? Ganyan ka na lang? Itatapon mo na lang ang buhay mo? Para saan, ha?'

FUCK! Para saan? Is she alright? Para saan????

I stand up to keep the distance between us. I have so much rage inside me that I don't trust myself enough to be near anyone.

"Para saan? Are you hearing yourself, Mama?"
'Well, Greggy.. at one point, you eventually have to let go, right? Anak, tatlong buwan ng-'
"God Ma!!!!! What the fuck is wrong with you? Tatlong buwan? Just like that? Irene saved my life! She sacrificed herself for me to be able to go back home safe! Let go? How can I? Sige nga, tell me! Please do fucking tell me! Because I don't know how!"

'Anak, I understand the guilt, but she made that choice, hindi mo naman siya pinilit at-'
"You're a horrible person! You are so horrible and you didn't even know that you are! She made that choice? Why do you think so, Ma? Huh? Why? Why is it so hard for you to understand that so much more than the guilt, it's love. I love Irene, Mama. I love her with all of me that I cannot eat or sleep or rest not until I know exactly how is she! Or where is she! Mahirap ba intindihin yan? Mahal ko ang asawa ko, and I will never stop looking for her until she's back."

'She's not your wife, Greggy. If only you could accept that, maybe it will make things easier for you.'
"She is, Ma. She is. Maybe if you can come into terms with that, it will make understanding me so much easier for you."

And with that, she left me alone.

Alone. Just like how I wanted to be.
I would rather be alone than full and well rested and happy and healthy but without her.