Our Song ON HOLD

29. Precious

Libbie POV

The drive to the hospital was painfully quiet, Damian focusing on the road woth occasional glances my way and we gazing out of the window at the passing scenery with my mind racing with thoughts, questions and anxieties.

To say I was nervous was an understatement I think terrified fit me much better. Today was implantation today, the day we take a step towards creating the family we both want to much but no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't get myself to be positive about this.

For a while now we had been sat i  the car park in silence me staring g at the brick built building I front of us while Damian rubs soft soothing circles over the back of my hand.

"Talk to me mi amor" he says softly "you haven't said a word all day"

"What if this doesn't work?" I ask my eyes firmly fixed on the brick wall

"You can't think like that" he says "today we start creating our family, in nine months we will have something so precious, something that is a part of both of us, that we will love with everything we have. Not only will we be the luckiest parents in the word but our baby will be the luckiest baby in the world, becuase they will be loved beyond words"

"It could just as easily go the other way" I say finally allowing my gaze to meet his an I'm met with deep brown eyes that are filled with nothing but warmth and love "we've already had one thing not go our way, what if this is just the same?"

"First of all the only reason it didn't go our way is becuase they changed their opening hours" he smiles "and secondly, I see no reason to think or believe this won't go our way, I love you" he says softly cupping my cheek and bringing my face closer to his to rest our foreheads together

"I love you too" I whisper "you have no idea how deeply I have fallen in love with you"

"If it's anywhere close to the way I love you I think I have an idea" he smiles kissing my lips lovingly "shall we do this?" He asks

I nod silently giving him a small smile as we move apart and finally remove ourselves from the car. I walk around it to meet him and he immediately takes hold of my hand tightly. With every step we take I feel my heart beating faster and faster.

The closer we get to the room the more I feel my fear grip at me, why couldn't I look at this the same was as him? Why am I so focused on this failing?

"Good morning everyone?" Dr Chalinor says greeting us all with a smile, I watch as Damian shakes his hand and then take my seat "relax Liberty, you have no need to look so scared" he says

"I've been saying the same thing" Damian says giving my hand a squeeze, then I feel my other hand being squeezed and I turn to see Lillianne smiling at me.

"It's normal to be nervous, your entrusting your dream to someone else, you relying an them to make it come true" she says "you have my word I will do everything I can to make it come true"

"Thank you" I say softly before turning back to the Doctor

"Alright, everything is ready we just need to take Lillianne through to the treatment room" he says "now it's up to you both, you can be there for the implantation or you can wait here if you don't feel able"

"What would you like to do mi amor?" Damian asks encasing my hand in his large ones

"I'd like to be there......that's if Lillianne is ok with that" I ask

"I'm fine with that" she smiles

With that we all follow Dr Chalinor through to the treatment room, while Lillianne gets herself comfortable and the treatment table the Doctor washes up and gets ready.

"Ok, we are going to insert a catheter into Lillianne and we will use that to implant the embryos" he says "as we have very healthy embryos we are going to implant two and I'm confident one of them will take"

"You hear that mi amor" Damian whispers as he kisses my temple and I nod silently as I watch the procedure being carried out. Lilliane remains perfectly calm throughout while Damian is fixated on the screen as the embryos are implanted.

Me on the other hand am completely overwhelmed, a part of me still can't believe I am actually doing this, that I am being given the chance to be a mother when I never thought I would be.

"Look mi amor, you see those tiny dots" Damian says pointing at the screen and shaking me from my thoughts "one of those is going to be our baby" he beams

"Alright, implantation was successful and now we just need to wait for two weeks and then meet back here to do the test" he says "Liberty I know how much this means to you, I know you are nervous and a little scared but I'm very confident we will have good news when we see each other next. Lillianne is healthy, the embryos are healthy. Its important for your health that you don't stress to much.........please make sure you help her to relax" he says turning to Damian.

"I will" he says "Thank you, both of you for all you've done so far, I can't tell you how grateful we both are"

As we leave the hospital and head back to our car I know without doubt the next two weeks for me were going to be absolute torture.