The Sinner

Temptation

"Come on, P'Pai. Focus."

Sky tells his friend, Prapai. They're sitting on the floor of his bedroom, legs crossed, a hand placed on each knee and eyes closed—Sky's, at least. Meanwhile, Prapai has one eye open, peeking at the other as he speaks.

"Think. There's always an underlying reason why a person turns gay; a traumatic experience, father issues, maybe? If we can figure out the root cause, then we can resolve it."

Prapai snorts, prompting Sky's eyes to fly open. "You're not taking this seriously." He whines.

"Because I honestly have none of those." Prapai retorts. "Will you stop psychoanalyzing me? Can't I just be gay, period?"

"No." Sky insists. "My therapist told me so; there's always a reason. Mine was 'cause I didn't have much of a relationship with my dad and so, I unconsciously seek a male figure in my life and mistook that for gayness."

"Did you just say gayness?" Prapai chuckles to which Sky flashes him a deadly glare. "Okay, okay." Prapai concedes. "I can think of one reason."

Sky perks up at that and asks excitedly, "What? Tell me."

But Prapai shows him instead by stealing a kiss that leaves Sky utterly motionless for about half a minute. Then his eyes widen and he hits the top of Prapai's head, exclaiming, "You idiot!"

"Ow." The boy groans, rubbing the sore spot. 

"Whatcha do that for?" Sky questions even though Pai feels as though he should be the one asking that.

"You told me to tell you the "cause of my gayness"." Prapai makes finger quotes. "And that's the only one I can think of...you."

"Are you calling me the devil?" Sky asks and Prapai chuckles, then tells him more seriously, "No, Sky. I'm telling you...that I like you—a lot."

Sky falls silent but it isn't exactly quiet in his head because he can hear his racing thoughts and his drumming heart. Deep down, he knows that those therapy sessions were never working, that he never stopped being attracted to men—to one man to be exact.

Prapai moves closer, their knees now touching. He puts a hand over Sky's and the latter's hand practically disappears beneath his much larger one. His touch feels electric, not like when Sky tried holding hands with a girl once. And even more so, his kiss.

Sky was caught off-guard earlier and so, he didn't have much time to let it sink in. But now that their lips are back together, Sky feels his chest blooming with warmth, the hair on his skin standing on end, his body buzzing and his defenses failing him.

One kiss, just one was what he told himself in what should've been a very brief moment of weakness. But once they were wrapped in each other's arms, it was impossible to let go.

Sky has always been reserved, the type not to even take his tank top off during poolside parties. But somehow, he has no shame or inhibitions with Prapai. It all felt so natural even as the latter pulls Sky's shirt over his head and traces every crevice of his body with his warm lips.

His parents weren't home and Sky has been emotionally pent-up, having spent the last months praying the gay away and avoiding any and all temptations just for him to willingly fall apart in Prapai's arms.

On one hand, he feels so dirty. But on the other, it feels right.

~~~

After what they did, expressing their feelings in the most honest way, Sky can't help but feel...guilty.

His parents have spent a fortune on "fixing" him and he practically tricked them into believing it's been working. But look at him now.

"Sky..."