The Sinner

Goodbye

Prapai and Sky are sitting on the sand, a few feet apart and with the now cool water barely brushing against their feet.

Neither have spoken for a while; it's been over an hour. Every now and then, tears escaped Prapai's eyes and he would hang his head between his knees, his shoulders shaking. But now, he just seems too tired.

Sky doesn't know what to say or do. As a matter of fact, there's nothing he can say or do to make things better.

Sky initially planned to spend the whole day with Prapai then tell him the truth when they get home. But with each act of love Prapai showed, Sky felt guiltier and guiltier until he couldn't hold it in any longer.

But this isn't any better either. With each stifled sob out of Prapai, each stretch of silence and each glance he steals only to see that Prapai's smile has now been replaced with the most pained expression, it kills Sky a little more each time.

But that's still not the worst part. The worst is when, no matter how much Sky has hurt him and no matter how upset Pai is, he still cares for Sky.

"Let's go home." He rasps, getting up weakly and dusting his shorts. He avoids direct eye-contact but he doesn't walk too far ahead that he can't see Sky in his peripheral vision.

Sky hastily gets up on his feet and says, "P'Pai, you don't have to-"

"What do you mean I don't have to?" Prapai's emotions are all over the place and he's on edge. He sucks a sharp breath, forcing himself to calm down. Then he utters quietly, "Even if it's uncomfortable, even if...even if you're breaking up with me,"

Those words bring tears to both their eyes but Sky doesn't interrupt as Prapai continues, "We came here together, Sky. So we...should leave together. I just need to make sure you're safe."

And just like that, Sky falls to pieces. "W-why're are you so good to me? I don't deserve it." He grabs his chest, feeling a physical pain where his heart is.

Prapai looks away, knowing if he doesn't, he'll want to hold Sky, to comfort him, to beg for him to change his mind.

But he holds back which is taking everything in him. As much as he understands Sky, he can't help but feel betrayed and abandoned. "Is this really what you want?" He asks, sounding spiteful. And as a last ditch effort to keep Sky from leaving, Prapai tells him then, "This is the last time I'll ask you, Sky.

"If you leave again, I won't wait for you anymore."

Sky's tears leak out of his eyes as though he were a broken pipe. It hurts so bad to hear that from Prapai himself but then again, it's just what he needed to hear.

He nods his head, feeling his mouth dry as he utters brokenly, "Then promise me that. Promise me...you won't wait for me anymore."

And that was a knife to both their hearts and the silence that befalls them after is louder than any of the words that's been said.

It's over.

The bus ride was awfully long and quiet. Yet somehow, neither wanted it to end because once they arrive and go their separate ways, there's really no turning back.

That sinking feeling in their stomachs only worsen as their surroundings become more and more familiar. And if only their tears hadn't ran dry, they'd be bawling their eyes out by now.

Sky thought it'll just stay like this until they reach their destination. But to his surprise, Prapai pipes up albeit quietly, "Sky..."

"H-hm?" He looks up at the other who then turns to meet his gaze.

"When you get off," Prapai bites his lip halfway, choking back tears. "Please look back to me...just once. Let's- let's pretend it's just like any other day, that I'm just taking you home from school like before. Can you do that?"