The Sinner

Fever 🔞

"Rain!" Phayu calls, speeding up to catch up to Rain then pulling him by the hand. "Rain, please, listen to me."

When he sees Rain's face, the boy's cheeks are tear-stricken. And it makes Phayu's chest hurt; it wasn't too long ago when he last made Rain cry and he swore not to do so again. But now, this happened.

"Rain, it's not what it sounded like." Phayu tries to convince him but Rain shoots him a stubborn look and retorts, "Don't lie, P'Phayu. I saw it on your face; P'Pai was telling the truth." But the anger on his face quickly morphs into sadness as he chokes out between sobs, "I was...so mad at you...for being so busy all the time. But it turns out, I'm the reason.

"If only I was more suitable to stand next to you, P'Phayu." Rain weeps. "Then you wouldn't have to protect me."

"Rain, don't say that." Phayu tells him, cupping his cheeks. "You don't lack anything. You're not the problem." He sighs exhaustedly. All this time, he's been carrying this burden all on his own. And although he hates that Rain had to find out—especially in this way—part of him feels relieved.

"Fine. Pai was right." Phayu admits. "But it's not your fault. It's just that...people like us, we don't get the same treatment that others get without even trying. Sure, people respect me now but the moment I'm no longer the school's golden boy, I can bet people will change overnight.

"And I can handle people being an asshole to me, Rain. But to you," Phayu shakes his head, his fists clenched tightly. "I don't know if I can control myself."

This is Rain's first time hearing any of this and seeing a side of Phayu that isn't full of confidence and certainty. It makes him realize, genius or not, Phayu is just like everyone else—he gets pressured and anxious.

And maybe, that's where he comes in. This is the part where Rain feels useful to Phayu because he tells him then, "P'Phayu, I don't care what others say about me. And I don't care whether or not you're our university's golden boy." He cups Phayu's jaw and the latter nuzzles into his palm. "What I care about is your wellbeing. I don't want you getting sick from overworking yourself. I promise I'll be fine, P'Phayu...because the only person whose opinion matters to me is you."

Phayu is momentarily taken aback, then he breaks into a fond smile. "I forgot." He chuckles. "I forgot how feisty you can be."

"You bet." Rain grins playfully despite his reddened eyes and nose. But then, his eyes become thoughtful once more as he tells the other, "Um, P'Phayu, about Sky and P'Pai..."

"I still don't agree with it." Phayu cuts him off but then, he takes a deep breath and adds, "But you're right; it's their problem to resolve. I'm just...worried, that's all."

"I'm worried too, P'Phayu." Rain admits. "But this is the happiest P'Pai has been in a while. And I think, Sky as well. We don't know how it will end and for all we know, it might not end well, but I don't want to take their happiness away from them."

Phayu expels a sigh but this time, he seems to be considering it more. Then he nods as he pulls Rain closer, looking at him while thinking if it had been him in Pai's shoes, he probably couldn't let Rain go either.

At last, he says, "Okay, I won't get involved anymore."

Rain smiles; he knew all along that Phayu wouldn't be able to stay mad at Prapai; they're best friends after all.

~~~

That evening, Sky is on the phone with Prapai while lying in bed, embracing a pillow for comfort.

"Don't let what Phayu said get to you, Sky." Prapai implores him but to which Sky responds with, "But he's not wrong."

And honestly, Prapai doesn't know what to say to that.