ʙᴀᴅᴍᴀɴ ᴀ ᴍɪ ᴛʏᴘᴇ

Change

Lamaya POV
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Sitting here nervously I try to think clearly am I really ready?

I am

Therapy.

Looking up at the sign I sighed this feels so surreal I never thought that I would be here a place like this

Maybe it's exactly what I need right?

Yeah let's do this.

Once again the conjuring thoughts that haunt me surfaces and I don't know if I should push them away or let them stay given that it's time to release them

Currently I'm not mad or angry I'm calm and usually that's the last thing I feel. I wonder if it's because I finally am learning self love with the help of finding my true self

Nothing that happened before is bothering because whatever it is already passed so I should move on and change myself for the better

It's the right thing to do; right?

It's for me, and nobody else . I can do this! But opening up to a complete stranger seems like I'm trauma dumping but I mean if it's gonna help I might as well do it

"Lamaya Nelson,?"

I get up as she walks towards me

"Doctor Strange is ready for you now. Right this way"

Following close behind her i twiddle my thumbs nervously as I feel my legs shaking a little

Day by day my anxiety is getting worse and it's affecting me physically

She opens the door motioning me to go in as I saw a lady sitting down when she noticed my presence she got up

"Welcome to therapy 101. I'm doctor strange and I'll be your therapist; please take a seat and feel comfortable just breathe in and out"

Following her instructions I sat and tried to steady my breathing my mind is wondering if I'm making the right decision or not. I'm sure that I am

Okay Lamaya put on your thinking cap and think about all the great outcomes of this situation because once again the turmoil in my mind is causing chaos

Closing my eyes I started to pray.

God I know this is for my betterment and you would want to change and learn that whatever had happened was all because of a great reason that needed to be created by myself, heal my heart and my mind God give me the strength to express myself in an emotional way to create a bond if change between my old self and my new self in Jesus name I pray Amen.

Opening my eyes I felt different as if I was meant to be here. The once nagging voice that had me questioning myself is now gone and that's all I needed to think clearly

I'm ready

"So Lamaya let's begin at the beginning, and note that whatever you tell me is strictly confidential and nobody will know I can promise you that,"

"You are are not going to open up about everything right now because you don't trust me and that's okay sweetie,"

"God didn't make the earth in one day did he,?" I chuckle she joins

"I guess not," I say she smiles

"Just breathe okay you'll be alright, if you break down while crying that's also fine we're all humans we express ourselves mostly through tears,"

"It won't make you less and I won't judge you this is a safe space to share whatever you think is best,"

I nod