Hopeless Insanity

Meaning of the word

"Aunt Frankie"

"Yes baby?"

"Will you ask mom if I can put pink in my hair?"

My niece, Ellie, is going through a new phase and Donna may not be completely ready for it. I had to drop something off at work and though the kids stayed in the car, they still saw one of the girls walk out and she happens to have pink hair. I highly doubt my niece has dreams of becoming a porn star but she saw that pink hair and lost her damn mind.

"Oh sweet girl. I'm already going to be in deep crap with your mom when she finds out I brought you with me to Cara Cara."

"So?"

"So why don't we wait a bit before asking her about the hair. Besides, you've got beautiful hair."

"What's so beautiful about it? It's the same color as yours."

My nephew is unimpressed but that's pretty normal for him. He's still salty that I wouldn't take him to get a real tattoo at the age of 8.

"Exactly! And WE have beautiful hair."

I don't hear them say anything in retort but I do hear the telltale sound of Ellie sticking her tongue out and Kenny retaliating by pushing her. THEN I hear the normal bickering that comes from siblings. They remind me so much of Ope and me at this age and I can't help but smile. All this bullshit that's been going on and the craziness in my backseat is what's bringing me peace. I really would be lost without my family but I could do without the empty McDonald's cup that goes whizzing by my head.

"HEY!" the fighting stops IMMEDIATELY and when I look in the rear-view mirror, they both look appropriately ashamed. "You tryna get me to crash?"

"No."

"Sorry Aunt Frankie."

"You two wanna duke it out, we do it at the house like I taught ya."

"Mom took our boxing gloves away."

"Why?" when I bought them for the kids, they were under very strict rules that they were not to be used without adult supervision. They're not real boxing gloves, just the kiddy ones and I even added extra padding, but by the way they won't meet my eye I'm guessing they did something sneaky... yeah, they're Winston kids for sure. "Ellie. Kenny... don't you get quiet on me now. The truth."

"We uh..."

"SHH!"

"No sir." Time to get to the bottom of this. We're almost to the house but I don't like this attitude from him, and I'm gonna nip it in bud right now. So I pull over, put the car in park, and turn around in my seat. "Out with it Kenny. Tell me the truth."

"We just wanted to see what real boxing was like. Dad said that you do it and we wanted to see how tough you were."

"You must REAL tough Aunt Frankie because that hurt like a bitch!"

Oh for fucks sake... I'm not saying I'm surprised that came out of her mouth but I do not swear in front of my niece and nephew. Shocking I know but Donna threatened to hang me by my tits if her kids picked up my swearing habit and I believe her!

"Language young lady."

"Sorry."

Man this pick up ended up way more interesting than I thought it'd be. Porn stars with pink hair, my niblings boxing one another, and Ellie swearing. I will be telling Opie that at the next pick-up I expect to be paid. Of course I'm kidding! Reggie's not my only weak spot. I love these two little monsters but I will be asking where Ellie learned the word bitch... seriously, not me.