𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜... | ᴍᴀᴛᴛʜᴇᴏ ʀɪᴅᴅʟᴇ |

32.

32. boys
• • •

I woke up unfortunately, head pounding and back aching. I looked around the dark room which was illuminated just enough to see two boys on my chairs, heads rolled uncomfortably to the side as they slept. Last night they insisted on staying, I was too exhausted to argue. It wasn't per say dark, but it wasn't exactly late in the morning either.

Trying not to wake up the two boys, I slowly made my way to the bathroom, taking a good look in the mirror. I was still in my dress, hair tangled, and makeup smudged. It was safe to say that I was a complete and hot mess. I zipped down my dress, letting it pool around my feet as I grabbed my shirt which was hanging on the door, tucking in the front so that it didn't look like I wasn't wearing anything. I fixed my hair and put it in a neat ponytail before washing my ruined face. I still looked like a zombie, even after washing all the gunk away.

I looked disappointingly in the mirror, arms wrapping around my stomach. I wasn't used to this but now I felt so aware of my own body. I still felt a whisper of the hand near my thighs and I pinched my eyes shut, trying to erase the memory.

"What are you doing up this early?" The door shut without me even realising it opened. I looked away, not wanting to make any eye contact. "I don't blame you," Riddle whispered. I didn't answer, I didn't look either. "I, um, I found these in the back of your drawer, and I just wanted to make sure that you were okay. The label isn't very clear if these are good drugs or not." My head snapped towards his hand where he was holding my pill containers.

"Oh my god, nobody was supposed to find those," I stuttered, quickly reaching for them but he pulled his hand away. "Why were you going through my drawers?"

"Why are you taking drugs?"

"They're not bad," I tried to explain, "It's not- I'm not- they're not bad." He set them down on the counter and we both just stared at them in unbearable silence. "They're not bad," I whispered again, not sure if I was trying to convince him or myself. "They're not bad," I repeated, reaching for one of the containers, "they help me. Or are supposed to anyway. I- they-" I couldn't find the right words, I couldn't form proper sentences. "What's wrong with me? Madam Pomfrey thinks I need fixing, you're treating me like I'm about to fall apart, and these pills are fucking taunting me," I sniffed, aggressively setting down my prescription.

"I'm looking at you like you're human."

"But treating me like a baby."

"Like a human," Riddle insisted, inching closer. "I know you think I'm only doing this out of pity, but I think that if we truly try, our whole relationship can change. You don't need fixing, you don't need to change, you just need to understand what you've been through and try to accept yourself, Edith." My eyes flickered to his, confused, he never called me by my first name. "You need to find yourself, your true self, without any assholes telling you your worth."

"You're trying to tell me my worth," I swallowed, very aware of the lack of distance between us. "And I do need fixing. I'm a girl with drinking problems who hooks up. A girl with no way to tell if someone is actually truly into her, or if he just wants to use her. A girl who can barely even tell her friends the truth. I want the pain to be gone," I ranted desperately. I flinched a bit as he reached up to brush away a fallen tear but the touch of his warm hand was oddly comforting.

"Eddie?" The door creaked open and Van poked his head in, spotting me and Riddle. "Oh, sorry- uh. I can go if you want," he offered, looking around the bathroom, eyes landing on my pills and I left myself completely crumble inside again.

"No," I hesitated, "it's okay." Van fully entered the bathroom, engulfing me in a hug as Riddle stood back, hands shoved in his pockets. "I'm proud of you, snowflake. You're so strong." I wanted to look away from Riddle, but my eyes were glued to him. I watched a fog appear in his dark brown eyes, looking distant, I could feel the cold from the outside. Or maybe it was just my bare legs. Finally pulling away, I slowly nodded to myself. "I'm okay," I try to assure. "I just need to be by myself for a little." Van nodded, the first to walk out of the bathroom, followed by Riddle.

I shut the door after they walked out and fell on my bed, reaching for my headphones. I needed to unwind.

I bolted upright when the door suddenly opened again without warning. "Sorry," Riddle sighed, "I just..." His eyes wandered around the room, looking for an excuse for coming back.

"You blazer?" I asked, pointing to the chair he was sleeping in. He nodded, face turning a shade of red as he went to grab it. "Anything else?" I pushed when he was just standing still in the middle of my dorm. Neither of us said anything for a while, we just glanced at each other a few times before he finally cleared his throat.

"So... you and Kritzer?" My mouth dropped.

"You're really asking me that?"

"Well you two were exchanging saliva at the party last night," he tried to reason as his brows knitted together.

"And you were shoving your tongue down a girl's throat. What's the difference?" I defended, crossing my arms over my chest. "You don't see me asking if you're together." I bit my lip, hesitating. "Are you?" I whispered. His eyes widened in both confusion and shock, it made me wonder what he was thinking. Until they narrowed again.

"And if I was?" He challenged.

"I wouldn't care," I insisted, standing to my feet so that it was somewhat of a fair fight. Damn these stupid short genes. "And if I was with Van?"

"I wouldn't care," Riddle replied, feeding my own words back to me.

"Yeah," I scoffed, "because you totally aren't gritting your teeth, and making fists right now. Please you're so obvious, every time you get irritated, there's a muscle in your jaw that twitches."

"And guess whose fault that is," he spat, inching closer to me, our chests nearly touching. "You're irritating, and irresponsible, and so. Fucking. Irresistible."

• • •
kill me now
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
he's so cute.
and i'm sorry if it's moving too fast. i'm tired of writing depressing stuff.
i want the hot stuff. i want the handsome man.

sigh 😌
mattheo. such a great name. i can't wait to start writing 'mattheo' instead of 'riddle' AH
anyways

here's my argument as to why babies are useless and bad:
human babies can't do shit for like the first AT LEAST year if not two
all they do is sleep eat cry and shit. they can't do anything, they can't even hold up their own heads. they also help with nothing.
GIRAFFE BABIES HOWEVER they legit fall to the ground when they are birthed and then like 10 seconds later they're walking. wobbly yes. but walking. human babies can't even fucking crawl in the first 10 seconds.

anyways
i like disney kids tho
those are cute
i can't handle 4-18 year olds tho they're annoying.

thank you for coming to my ted talk
what colour is your phone/laptop/computer/ipad/ipod/device?
(mines midnight blue, not prussian ifykyk)
——>

MWAH
KISSES AND CROISSANTS 💋🥐