When The World Caves In |C.G.

ten

Everything is too much. It's all just too much.  I can't breathe as I walk off, away from the barn. I need air. I need to leave. The smell of the walkers isn't helping. I swear my ears are still ringing from the noises. Everything hurts. I don't know what's happening to me.

Shit shit shit. 

I want to be far away from here. Away from this mess, pretend like none of this happened, pretend Sophia's gonna come back to us. Pretend nothing between Daddy and I ever changed. Pretend we're just on a camping trip. Pretend like the world never ended. 

"Aurora!" I think it's Daddy calling after me but I don't hear nothing. Just the sound of my own labored breathing as I walk towards the woods. I don't turn around when there's screaming or when Shane starts yelling again. I just keep on walking. 

Nothing matters, nothing matters, nothing matters. 

"Aurora!" It's definitely Daddy calling after me but I don't care. I just need to get away. I need some air that ain't contaminated by the smell of dead corpses. I'm nearing the edge of woods when I feel Daddy's hand grip my shoulder. 

It's should've been me. It should've been me. It should've been me. 

"God Damnit Aurora just stop!" Daddy makes me stop in my tracks and I turn around. I'm angry, I'm so angry. Everything has gone to shit. Sophia wasn't supposed to die. "The hell you think you're going?" 

"Away." I say, tears rolling down my face. They leave angry red streaks down my face and my voice don't sound like my own. I'm crying for a lot of reasons, I'm angry and I'm sad and I'm frustrated beyond belief. "I'm leaving." 

"Oh yeah?" He asks, forcing me to look at him. I think he's mad I ain't listening to him like he wanted. "How come." 

"I should've been the one in that barn." I whimper and I can't help it. "You hate me! You actually hate me! No one would care if I died instead." 

"What the hell are you talking about Rory?" Daddy asks squatting to be eye level with me, he's gripping my shoulders tightly and I push him off, forcing him to stumble back a little. He reaches to grab me again but I just push him once more. Whimpering again, I wipe my angry tears with the back of my hand. 

"You say you love me, but you're never there! You're always in the woods, doing things for everyone else but you're never there!" I scream. I'm angry and I want to hit something. Sophia shouldn't be dead! She was the only friend I've ever made on my own and now she's dead. "You're always trying to get rid of me. If it was me everything would've been better. You wouldn't have to try so hard, you'd be alone just like you want. Free to go find Merle." 

"That how you really feel?" His voice is soft, but there's also some anger lacing it. 

"You dropped me to hold Carol." I tell him, I'm crying real hard now. My breathing is all labored and that ringing is back in my ears. I hiccup as I continue speaking, it's getting harder to talk and see and hear. "I bet you wish Sophia were yours instead of me." 

"Rory, no baby." Daddy tells me and he forces me into a hug and I just crumble. Sobbing so hard that I can't breathe no more.

I can't breathe, I can't breathe, I can't breathe. 

"Hey, no no no." Daddy shushes me and pulls me in real close. "That ain't even remotely the truth. You know that. You're just upset okay?" 

"It is the truth." I hiccup and he shakes his head. 

"Rory if I didn't care about you, you wouldn't be here right now. I wouldn't be here holding you." He tells me and I just keep on bawling. 

"I wanna go home." I cry out, hiccuping between each word as I gasp for breath. "Everything was better back then. I miss my bed, I miss school, I miss Merle, I miss Beau, I miss Mama. I can't breathe. I can't breathe. Daddy I can't breathe."