When The World Caves In |C.G.

twenty five

Every time I turn around I see the man I killed, his blond hair and tattooed arm shine bright in the forest and there's blood trailing down his neck. Always standing behind me like a shadow. The blood caked in my hair is a reminder of what I did, and my knife. The handle is encrusted with blood, I'm trying to get that out but I just keep chipping my nails, I think I'm just making things worse. 

Daddy is looking at me, he's real worried but I try not to look at him for too long. I want to go home, to the prison. All I have with me is my guilt and the knife I used to murder someone.

The woods aren't as calming as they used to be for me. What used to bring me peace and serenity now brings annoyance. Especially the longer Merle tries to fill the silence. 

Daddy hands me a bottle of water and I take a sip of it hesitantly. We haven't come across any food in the day that we've been out here. Merle ain't no help either with his loud mouth. He's currently peeing on a tree so I've got my back turned to him to give him some privacy.

"Ain't nothing out here but mosquito's and ant's." Daddy states, looking down sight of his crossbow. I wish I had mine still, but that got left at the prison. Along with Mr. Tubbins, which I'm still mad about. 

I know Daddy didn't plan on finding me or Merle, but he didn't have to make rash decisions and jump ship. I could be having a real lovely reunion with my teddy bear right now; but no. Merle's a jackass that doesn't play well with anyone except himself. Plus he's just always gotta be right. 

I'm watching the woods warily, afraid someone's gonna jump out and get us. The blond man peeks his head out from behind a tree, and I swallow loudly. Hallucinating, I'm hallucinating. I haven't slept in a while but there hasn't been time. Blinking, the man disappears. Daddy nudges my side, and I give him a distant look before switching my gaze.

"Patience little brother," Merle is still peeing while he speaks and I frown. "Sooner or later a squirrel is bound to scurry across your path." 

"Even so, that ain't much food for the three of us." Daddy tells him and my stomach growls, agreeing. 

"More than nothing." Merle says, he's still peeing and I really wish he'd just hurry up. I'm tired of standing here awkwardly. It feels like someone's watching us. Someone's watching me at least.

"We'd have better luck going through one of those houses we passed back on the turnoff." Daddy says. 

"Is that what your new friends taught you?" Merle asks, finishing up his business and walking to where we stand. "How to loot for booty?" 

"We've been at it for hours." Daddy tells him, I think he's already exhausted. I'm exhausted. Merle always has to be right, but I'm starving and it's getting hard to keep that mentality. "Why don't we find a stream, try to look for some fish?"

"I think you're just trying to lead me back to the road, man." Merle says. "Get me over to that prison." 

"They got shelter, food."  Daddy says. "A pot to piss in." 

"Mr. Tubbins, my book, my bow, Carl's there." I mumble angrily kicking a rock. I wonder if Carl misses me as much as I miss him, so much has happened that I want to tell him about. "Did I mention, Mr. Tubbins?"

"Rory." Daddy says my name bluntly, shooting me a look. I give him a look right back. This ain't fair, I didn't get a say in none of this and Merle is really making me mad. "Might not be a bad idea."

"For you, maybe." Merle says, he's taking a knee on the forest floor. "Ain't gonna be no damn party for me." 

"Everyone will get used to each other." Daddy brings his bow to his eye again, he's just staring at the ground four feet ahead though.