When The World Caves In |C.G.

twenty nine

Rick took Michonne and Carl on a run today, which is how I find myself standing in Beth's cell pacing back and forth as she looks at me in confusion. She's the only one I'd come to with this information though. I'd never go to Daddy or Merle with this in a million years.

I know Merle would just make fun of me, probably spew something about how Dixon's don't need nobody except blood. That ain't true, but it's hard to change Merle's mind about things he's really set on. 

Daddy? I'm not sure how Daddy would react. He'd probably just try to lock me in my cell and throw away the key so I can't do nothin except be his little girl forever and ever. Or, he'd kill Carl. That option is very likely. He might do both honestly. 

"Rory will you just tell me what's wrong." Beth asks, she's sitting on her bed feeding Judith her bottle while watching me. 

"I think..." I trail off, looking towards the wall. Working up the courage to finally let the words tumble on out, "IthinkImightlikeCarl." 

"Say that again but slower." Beth tells me, shaking her blond head. I look at her and sigh because I really don't wanna admit it again. "I couldn't hear you." 

"I think that I might like Carl." I grumble out, kicking a rock that was tracked in here. It hits the bottom of her bunk bed with a clink! and rolls under. 

"That's what I thought you said." She says smugly, shifting the baby in her arms to burp her. 

"Then why make me say it again!" I groan, throwing my head back. Beth simply laughs and I groan sitting on the edge of her bed. 

"Just wanted to confirm that's what you said." Beth says and Judith coos like a traitor. Of course she would, babies are smug like that. "Why do you say that?" 

I kick out my feet cause I don't really know why I said that. Last night made me realize that I might have the eensiest bit of feelings for Carl. Except I don't even know what that feels like. I've never had friends like Beth to tell me how this works, I've just only had Daddy and Merle. Like I said before, they ain't gonna be any help in this situation. They know a million ways to survive, but nothin about teaching me about feelings. 

Hell, Merle really only knows how to feel angry. 

"I think he looks nice." I say slowly, and then continue on. "and I like talking to him." 

"Well, you could always tell him how you feel." She says and I look at her like she's crazy, because she is. Ain't no way.

"Absolutely not." I tell her shaking my head. 

Carl is my only friend my age, I don't want to screw things up. I mean, I got Beth, but she's older than me and has responsibilities, she don't want a kid lingering around all the time. Screwing up Carl and I is that's exactly what would happen. I tell him he's cute, he thinks I'm weird and we never talk again. 

"Okay, then don't." Beth says with a shrug. "You'll never find out."

"You're supposed to help me!" Beth just laughs at my reaction and I scowl. I don't even know why I came in here. "You're not doing a great job." 

"Rory he likes you too." Beth tells me and I stop scowling and my expression changes to confusion. 

"How do you know?" I ask suspiciously. What are the odds Carl came to Beth and told her that? 

"I just do." Beth says and holds Judith up as she starts crying. I just keep on staring at her until she speaks again. "For crying out loud, he has his own nickname for you!" 

+

"Here." Michonne says handing Carl two frames encasing pictures. He only planned on her bringing out the one but he looks closer at the second. "That's your friend right, the one you like?"