BADA LEE as Your Deranged Stalker

t w e n t y s e v e n

As we stood inside the elevator, Bada's unexpected actions took me by surprise.

Her gaze shifted toward me, and with the utmost gentleness, she reached out and delicately cupped my chin, tilting my head upwards until our eyes met.

In that moment, as our eyes locked, I still couldn't come to terms with the fact that this very same Bada, who had been responsible for Jonah's death and her other victims, could embody such a soft and tender presence. It was a very surprising difference, especially as she moved closer to kiss me.

Her touch and her demeanor were so soothing that, suddenly, all the fear I had experienced when I encountered Samuel went away like a small bubble bursting.

After that night, Bada came with me as I went home. What surprised me was that she didn't say anything about how strongly I reacted when I saw Samuel. She didn't inquire about it, leaving me in awe of the enigmatic duality she displayed.

It was confusing to fathom how someone who raised so many red flags could also radiate such an intense sense of reassurance, like a glorious green flag waving in the wind.

"So, paano ba naging kayo ni Bada Lee, Miss Kathreen Jewels Armenia?" Hindi ko inasahan ang biglang pagsulpot ni Jisoo sa harapan ko habang nakahawak ng tray. Nakapatong do'n ang inorder naming kape.

Parang ang bilis naman ata ng pag-order niya, parang kanina lang ang taas ng pila, ah.

Umupo na siya sa harapan ko at inilipat ang drinks namin from the tray to the table. Nag-order narin pala siya ng two slices ng strawberry cakes. Kinuha ko ang drink ko.

"You're not answering, Miss Kathreen Jewels Armenia!" Jisoo, focusing her attention on me as she slowly sipped her coffee, her gaze unwavering and intent.

I sigh tsaka nag-isip ng ilang segundo bago ko siya sinagot, "hindi ko alam?"

Halos mabilaukan si Jisoo sa sinagot ko, "ha? Anong 'di mo alam?! Nakipagtanan ka gaga ka ba?! Halos mawindang ang buong mundo nang mawala ka, girl! We're not playing around here!"

"Ang totoo niyan, ako lang naman 'yung nagpumilit sa sarili ko kay Bada, eh. I just confessed. I told her, I love her pero wala akong natanggap na sagot."

"What?! Akala ko talaga niligawan ka ng gago! Sabi ko na nga ba! Well, hindi naman sa nagj-judge ako, ha! Pero, Kathreen, know your worth! H'wag kang mags-settle sa relasyon na hindi ka naman sure!" nanlalaki pa ang mga mata ni Jisoo habang nagsasalita. Halatang invested talaga siya sa sitwasyon ko ngayon.

I sip my coffee, "bakit nga ba kayo naghiwalay ng ex-boyfriend mo? Ang tagal nyo na ni—"

"I don't wanna talk about him." She suddenly uttered in a serious tone of voice. And all of a sudden, nakaramdam ako ng awkwardness sa pagitan namin ni Jisoo. Mukhang may masama nga sigurong nangyare kaya ayaw niyang pag-usapan.

"Hmmm, so, balik tayo kay Bada," bigla niyang sabi at dahil do'n parang nawala nalang 'yung awkward silence kanina. "Parang ang fishy lang kase na bigla-bigla ka niyang tinanan pagkatapos mong mag-confess, tapos 'di naman pala sure kung ano talaga label nyong dalawa, so ano yon? Trip niya ka lang niyang itanan?"

I couldn't stop thinking about everything that happened between Bada and me. From the moment when I went into her house without any permission, then I remembered how she was involved in Jonah's death, hanggang sa may nangyayari na sa'min.

"At ba't namumula 'yang mukha mo, girl?" hindi makapaniwalang tanong ni Jisoo kaya naman nasapo ko kaagad ang mukha ko. "Alam mo puro nalang ako tanong dito wala ka paring naku-kwento!"

"Ano bang iku-kwento ko?" Hindi ko naman pwedeng sabihin sa kanya ang totoo but, one thing is for sure, walang sigurado sa'min ni Bada.

I bared my soul when I confessed my feelings to her, giving it my all.

It's not about wanting something in return for my emotions; it's just that we haven't defined our relationship. What's been bothering me is that she never expressed if she feels the same way about me.

The lack of clarity in our situation leaves me with a mix of emotions, from uncertainty to longing.

Sometimes, actions without words are just so confusing.

"Ano bang sabi sa'yo ni Bada after the confession thingy?"

'I want the world to know that you are mine. You are mine and mine alone.'

"Okay na 'ko sa ganito" nasabi ko nalang, Jisoo frowned at me.

"Hindi siya okay! Alam mo, buti pa layuan mo nalang si Bada! I mean, mahirap kaseng magstay sa isang relationship na walang kasiguraduhan. Gumising ka nga, Kathreen?!"

I sigh. Defeated.
Hindi ko alam, hindi ko kaya.
I'd rather die.

"Alam mo," hinawakan ni Jisoo ang kamay ko at ngumisi nang malapad sa akin, "mag-inuman na lang tayo sa bahay! Don't worry, ako mismo tatawag kay tita na nasa bahay kita!"

"Huh? Inuman talaga? Kailan ka pa natutunong uminom, Jisoo?!"

"Sige na! Grabe ka naman! Mag-overnight ka lang sa bahay, eh! Netflix and chill!" she pleads while shaking my arm.

I mean, yeah, we've been friends for years, and I've never stayed overnight at a friend's place before, so this is going to be my first time experiencing something like this.

"Okay," sabi ko nalang at nagkibit ng balikat.

"Okay!" Jisoo raised her coffee with a joyful smile, ready for a playful toast.

"Okay!" I echoed, matching her enthusiasm, and we clinked our drinks together with a lighthearted cheer.