FOREIGN ADULTS 2: THE CULT RETURNS (south park au)

we're not cult leaders, we're just having a bad day.

STAN

dad? what the actual fuck?

TWEEK

OH GOD??? WHAT IS HAPPENING???!!!! WE'RE ALL DOOMED MAN!!!!! WE'RE FUCKING DEAD!!!!!!

RANDY

***sobbing***

tweek... s-stop. we're not c-c-cult leaders, w-we're just having a bad day.

KENNY

****muffled****

dude.

PIP

oh dear! what in the bloody heck is going on??

CRAIG

i just want to know what is up with this week and us getting kidnapped????

CARTMAN

well at least my kidnapping prank was funny and cool. this is just gay.

CARTMAN

no offense pip and damien.

KYLE

your kidnapping prank was not funny or cool cartman! in fact i should beat your fucking ass again for that.

CARTMAN

yeah right jew KYLE!! whatever!!!!

CARTMAN

you can lie all you want about it not being cool as fuck but i heard your gay ass speech you obviously thought it was cool as fuck!

KYLE

I DID NOT FUCKING THINK IT WAS COOL. THE ONLY REAS-

PIP

i just think we all need to get along guys :)!! be civilized! it's-

EVERYONE

shut the fuck up pip!

PIP

right-o

CRAIG

i'm just confused on why we can't just drop cartman? like why are we even still friends with him after that shit he pulled?

TWEEK

AGAH! i agree!!!

CARTMAN

wow. thanks craig fucking asshole.

****craig flips cartman off.

STAN

guys shut the fuck up my dad literally just kidnapped us.

PIP

may i ask why you did kidnap us mr marsh sir?

RANDY

***sobbing*** well.... t-t-the guy j-j-just c-c-called me and h-he said we need eleven people to even be e-eligible to join the dance and song show. to m-meet snoop d-dogg! stannnnn

RANDY

and y-you have all your f-f-friends right here s-s-stanley!

RANDY

s-s-stan...

STAN

.......

STAN

............so you thought kidnapping us would get us to join your dumbass show?

RANDY

PLEASE STAN PLEASE!!!!! I NEED HIM!!!! HE'S MY IDOL. HE'S THE WEED KING!!!