FOREIGN ADULTS 2: THE CULT RETURNS (south park au)

tweeks dad is getting freaky tonight!!!!

****two cult members grab both kyle and cartman and drag them to the isolation center.

CARTMAN

hey what the fuck did i do?

KYLE

let fucking go of us!!

****they throw them into the isolation center and close the door, tweek's dad peaks his eyes through the little prison slit opening thingy.

RICHARD (TWEEKS DAD, CULT MEMBER)

hello boys, well unfortunately you have done a great disservice to our people. this is why you are locked up here for the night. we know you're new but being a part of this cult is not like beaches and sunshine, but you know what is? when you take a nice long sip of our local home colorado grown tweek's coffee the flavors of the great mountain slid-

LIANE (CARTMAN'S MOM, CULT MEMBER)

i think i'll take it from here, hot stuff ;).

RICHARD

hmmm okay ;)... meet me at my room after campfire night's over ;)

CARTMAN
ugh fucking gross man..

LIANE

okay... meet you there! ;)

LIANE

oh erm... hey poopsie-kins, hey kyle!

CARTMAN

mom can you just let us go? i'm your son for god's sake!

LIANE

i'm sorry but i can't do that sweetie, it is against the rules and i am very committed to this cult and all the hot daddies here!

CARTMAN

oh my god. just fucking stop mom!

LIANE

but i can tell you boys what's going on and why you were sent here.

LIANE

see eric honey you kinda made an oopsie and said you wanted to taunt the sacrifices.

LIANE

now we are very liberal around these parts and we want to make it a safe place inclusive for the sacrifices as much as we can. that's why we let them go on rollercoasters in the basement!

KYLE

.....but you're killing them? isn't that what you're doing when you sacrifice them?

LIANE

yes we are. that is what we're doing.

KYLE

how is that making it a safe place for them?

LIANE

as i said, we're very liberal around here, we  just pretend we're helping them! it's very performative over here.

KYLE

but can't you just get us out of here ms cartman? we can't let- miss this sacrifice!

LIANE

i know how much you boys want to see the sacrifices but it's out of my hands now. you have to do your time.

CARTMAN

that's bullshit!

LIANE

i don't make the rules eric, i just have to enforce them!

KYLE

but why do you have to enforce them?

LIANE

uh.... i don't really know why.... i mean after the higher ups started giving us these career extension pills everyday, i just have this intense urge to follow whatever the cult says.