KYLE
no. no. don't you guys get it?!!!
KYLE
i learned something today...
KYLE
you see, you guys can't get so caught up in comparing yourself to others, measuring your value based on who has the best career.
CULT PRESIDENT
but those careers give us enlightenment and fulfillment! celebrities are perfect that's why they have all those careers!! that's what our master selener taught us!
KYLE
but you're wrong, true enlightenment and fulfillment doesn't come from stealing careers from people who you think are perfect because the hard truth is nobody is perfect... and a celebrity's career won't make you perfect!
KYLE
today nicki's career was stolen and she was working as a janitor at a shitty ice cream shop being abused by her boss! you all should take it as a reminder that celebrity careers are most times fleeting and fragile. so just appreciate all the good stable careers you all have now!
MR MACKEY
wow.... mkay.... i never realized how stable my career was until now. i feel like an idiot mkay.
STAN
right on mr mackey!
****the brainwashing curse is broken as mr mackey switches sides!
MR MACKEY
come on guys. can't we just appreciate what we have now? cuz stealing careers is bad! it's really bad! mkay! kyle over here said it himself... mkay!
CULT PRESIDENT
yeah... maybe that kyle boy is right! before this cult i worked flipping burgers at mcdonald's getting abused by my piece of shit boss darrel and i'm just now realizing how fulfilling that career was for me! wow!
CULT PRESIDENT
don't you see everyone! we're all so idiotic for envying the careers of the 1% who can live their life how they want because they aren't a slave to their job, just working to keep food on the table while simultaneously being one paycheck away from homelessness! i am going to be much more appreciative that i'm being anally fucked by the system thanks to this random ginger jew from jersey telling me i should be!
CULT PRESIDENT
come on, everyone! let's go to our jobs and appreciate getting fucked in the ass by our employers and society some more!! yippie!!!
****all the cult members (townspeople of south park) cheer and leave excited to once again be fucked hard by the system!
KYLE
oh um........
BUTTERS
so heartwarming!
PIP
i agree!
MR MACKEY
thank you kyle for saving me.... mkay. that speech really made me appreciate being a school counselor. i don't want to be a celebrity anymore mkay. so thank you for that!
NICKI MINAJ
yeah that speech was barbie tingzzz kyle! you ateeeee! left no crumbs!!!!!!
KYLE
i don't think i had the best take on that one.......
KYLE
but thank you, anyway.
YOU ARE READING
FOREIGN ADULTS 2: THE CULT RETURNS (south park au)
Fanfiction!!!!!!THIS IS A SEQUEL TO MY FOREIGN ADULTS (south park au) FANFICTION. READ THAT BEFORE THIS OR BE CONFUSED!!!!!!!! i've given up on summaries so if you want answers to the lore i set up from the last foreign kids fic then read this story!!!! lol ...
