Fishi's Big Book O Bullshit!

Benedict is an asshole, yes but how far does he go?

Kind of heavy topics here oh boy
New intro I'm bored let's go

Yo what's popping hi hello меня зовут Gessi или Jelly

Tw: animal death, childhood trauma, toxic parental relationship, mentions of narcissism personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, brief mention of child neglect, sexual deviance (Not. To. The. Fucking. Child.), general hypersexuality

First off

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C4atIBltYUy/?igsh=MTN6emVqdjYzYXVvNQ==
(I'll put the link in comments too)

If you can't watch the video at all
Basically a lady was talking about a story plot, like a "what if" lel
What if someone cheated on their partner and started doing crime to see if they can feel empathy
And it got me thinking

Benedict?

Okay basically

Benedict was a rich kid
Mother apathetic, father, kinda soft but stern.
The father shot a deer in front of him and was like "oh son be a real man kill an animal."

Yeeeeah.... Uh oh!

Benedict started killing, first animal being a rabbit and he was like "eh whatever" and didn't think much of it.
It wasn't until he met George that he started to like
"Hey I don't feel much for or towards him what do I do now"
So
One fateful frog dissection day
Hes like
"Oh guts ahuhuhu"
Tries to kill another frog, disassembles the entire thing and rebuilds it somehow?
Then he's like... Ew messy ew.

Then he realizes,
Oh.
Emotions is where it's at.

So he fucks with George, gaslights King Martha and Ben
Kills George,
Falls off the face of the earth
And then fucks around with mania
First her mind and emotion
Then branding her eye shut

Great...
After that whole thing he starts thinking "hey what if I need someone."
So he starts sleeping around.
He doesn't really care anymore
And it's a cycle of needing something to attach to, fucking around, finding out, losing that and then starting back at square one.

Basically he has NPD, and BPD.
Why? Because he needs that cycle to happen or he will shut down badly and then fuck shit up.

It's bad. It's very bad.
But he keeps doing it, in order to try and feel something than just physical pleasure. (Like from sex) He wants to appease something in him, like a hunger. He wants to have a reason to be satisfied to feel emotion other than apathy and envy.

Now Requiem
No one knew what the fuck was happening in his head
Not even George
Benedict in this au was just NPD, so to speak
Now for the chapters he is mentioned in we see his hypersexuality and apathy mainly. HOWEVER (trying to think without spoiling too much)
Y'know
Let's say
Something happens
Would Benedict feel the pain of realizing everything he had done? Yes
Would he realize the abuse he has tried to do apologize and undo it, realize it's too late, and still try anyways? Yes
Would he regret anything? hell yeah he would
Does he do this with incredible self-loathing? Absolutely.
Anyway.
All hypothetical (possibly/j)

But thats just a theory a game theory and I'm really just talking out of my ass here. K bye love you mwa mwa