So a day goes by. School, as pure usual, is hell. But after school, I tell Kel to follow me, and directly after school, the two of us head to Sunny's house.
I make him wait outside Sunny's room, just incase Sunny isn't dressed, as Sunny's bare body is a treasure I reserve for me, and me only.
Luckily he's dressed, so I sit down on the bed with him and tell him that Kel's here.
I then let Kel in, who beams with joy at the sight of his old friend.
"Hey man! How have you been?" Kel says, keeping his tone light and friendly, but I can see the tears brimming in his eyes, and I believe Sunny can as well.
Sunny gives a weak smile, and lightly says, "I've been doing well." Though all three of us know its a lie.
Kel nods his head. "So uh... I've missed you." Kel says softly.
"Yeah. I've missed you as well." Sunny replies.
It warms my heart to see them chatting. They don't immediately start acting like how they were when they were 12. They don't start acting like they still know each other from head to toe, inside out. They act like old friends. They are old friends.
"Well, I'll let you two be. Sunny, love, would you like me to make you some food? Maybe tea? What about you, Kel?" I say sweetly.
Sunny nods, and Kel says, "i wouldn't mind some tea."
I smile at the two boys, and then head downstairs to the kitchen. I figure that Sunny has had enough toast, so I find a can of chicken soup to heat up for him, and do so, while I start making three cups of tea.
I wonder what they're talking about up there. I wonder if they're talking, or just sitting in silence. I wonder if Sunny is kissing him because he's so love starved. I wonder if Sunny doesn't truly love me, he just wanted someone to kiss, someone to make him feel good. I wonder a lot of things.
I wonder why I feel jealous for a fictional thing I made up in my head. I wonder why my jealously is causing me to feel slightly angry at Kel. Not Sunny, because he is perfect, and I could never be mad at him. Even if he hurt me. I doubt it would be his fault, probably just collateral damage.
I don't mind being hurt by collateral damage.
And even if he did hurt me on purpose, I would immediately forgive him. He's my Sunny, and I'll love him no matter what.
I walk up the stairs with the bowl of soup and three cups of tea, to find Kel and Sunny laughing with each other.
Sunny looks like he's got more life in him than he has when it's just been us. Kel looks like, for once, he isn't pretending to be happy. I love that my beautiful Sunny is happy.
I don't interrupt them. I hand Sunny his tea and soup, and Kel his tea. And then I take my tea and lean against the wall, observing.
"Yeah, we were like, so cringe as kids!" Sunny says between giggles.
"For real... I just said anything I wanted to! Ah, being sixteen is so different... you get bullied for everything." Kel adds.
Sunny nods. "Is high school really that bad?"
It sure is, love, it sure is.
Kel shrugs. "I mean... it's fine. Just have to follow social code."
"I'm autistic, Kel, that's a bit hard to do." Sunny adds.
Kel laughs again.
I take a sip of my hot tea. I'm jealous, yes, but this is what I have to do. Sunny's happiness is valuded far above mine.
I want him to be happy. Healthy. Making friends is all of the process.
Kel goes home for dinner, and I go home as well.
Polly is sitting at the dinner table, waiting for me. Along with someone else. My parents. I feel my hands start to shake, I feel my face get red, and I feel tears come brim in my eyes.
"Hello, Basil! How have you been doing?" My mom says, all friendly.
They're like strangers to me.
"I've been doing okay." I say.
"That's lovely, son. Still doing well in school, I assume?" My dad asks.
I nod my head. "Of course, dad, of course."
Polly smiles, and serves the food she made for dinner. She stays silent for dinner, letting my parents and I talk.
"I hope your therapist is doing you well?" My mother politely mentions.
It's only one session, but I'll indulge her in her fantasy, but not like I do for Sunny, not out of love, simply out of the fact that it'll get her to shut up and stop pretending she loves me because it's always obvious that she doesn't, and never will.
"Yes, I think it's helping me already." I tell her.
She nods. "Well that's lovely. Hopefully that doesn't have to go on for much longer... not that I don't want to pay for therapy, but, well..."
"It's not really a good thing to be going to therapy, Basil. We love you, but... well... you have to understand that it doesn't look good to our collueges." Dad cuts in.
I nod. I understand. Of course I do.
"Yes, I understand. I hope I won't be in therapy for me as well." I say politely, picking at my food, "How long are you staying?"
My mother purses her lips. "Well, we're not sure. Maybe overnight, maybe a day or two... and then, off to... where are we going next?"
"China." My dad answers for her.
My mother nods. "Yes, China... well, you know, maybe sometime you could come with us, Basil... if we get you all... straightened out. And make sure you don't miss school... well, we could get you on online school, now couldn't we?"
"It'd be a lot of work to take him with us though. You know this." My father responds.
"Oh, well... I suppose you'll just have to keep staying with Polly, then, darling Basil. Speaking of such, she's been treating you well, right?"
Yeah, a lot better than you guys have been treating me.
(1015 words)
