Morning comes faster than it should, and I don't welcome it. The light streaming into my room seems like a hostile invitation. It tells me to get up, to do things. It tells me to go to Aubrey's house, to check on her. I don't want to do that.
I want my Sunny back.
All the joy, the friendship, the platonic beauty, everything good, it has all drained from my heart. I mean, of course it did, I was expecting to leave behind my happiness eventually, and have it be replaced with a longing for my Sunny, for the thing I cannot ever truly have, but I didn't think it'd happen this quickly. It's only been 3 days. It's only been 3 days since I made the choice that I would be better. I took action to change, and it's failing. I'm failing. Just like I always do.
It was bound to happen, but it still hurts. It hurts it happened this quickly.
And what should I do? Go to Sunny's house?
He hates me.
Well, he doesn't hate me, but he doesn't love me, and what is hate if not the lack of love?
Fucking pity. Out of anything, why does it have to be pity?
I made the choice that I wouldn't go back to Sunny. Not if he won't make an effort for me. I am not that pathetic, I am not a dog, I do not need Sunny, not to live, not to be happy. I will go about my day once more, as I have been doing, and I will be fine.
Though the sunlight urges me to, I don't particularly want to go to Aubrey's house, so I don't.
I close the curtains, and go back to bed once more.
I meet nothing in my dreams. No dream Sunny, no reminder, no symbolism, no communication or great message. Just mindless scenes playing, created somewhere far away in the very back of my brain.
When I wake up again, I head downstairs and grab a cup of water. I'm hungry, but not hungry enough to bother eating.
I mean, what's the chances that Sunny hasn't eaten since I last fed him? If he's not getting food, than why should I?
I shake my head forcefully, as if I can shake the thought out of my head, and chug the cup of water, which makes me feel slightly sick, and then head upstairs to my bedroom once more.
I lay on the bed, in the darkness, the lights off, my heart beating fast, my breathing slow. The void in my heart becomes more and more apparent by the second, and all the love I have stock piles pours out, dries up, leaves an empty space in the cavity in my chest where my heart lies.
I do not need Sunny. I make a silent vow to myself that I will not go out and try to find him if he does not make an effort to do the same for me. I then roll over, and try to sleep.
And then I find myself in the place I least should be, standing outside my Sunny's bedroom door. I find myself knocking on the door. I find myself opening it although I am not met with a response from my Sunny.
He lets out a gasp of air as he sits up to look at me, rubbing the sleep from his eyes even though it's the middle of the day.
"You don't hate me." He whispers ever so softly from under his breath.
I smile at him, hardly containing the array of emotions inside of me, and say, "I would never."
I walk over to his bed, and sit down on the side of it. He grabs my hand and pulls me closer to him.
"I love you, Basil." he tells me, and oh God how my heart fills with it all, with love, with lust, with a sense of fullness, his words so satiating, everything else paling in comparison to that singular phrase.
He loves me.
My eyes well up with tears, and drip down my face. I smile, whispering to him, "I love you too, my Sunny."
My Sunny, my Sunny, my Sunny.
Oh, how I love my Sunny.
"I want to kiss you." I mumble, tripping over my words, barely coherent.
He smiles at me, and then I am up against his chapped lips, his arms wrapped around my upper body, wrists grazing my neck, hands on the very edges of my cheeks, long fingers tangled in my hair. I inch closer to him, pressing my body against his, and I wrap my arms around his body, putting him in such a position that his body is leaning into mine with such force that I cannot tell where he begins and I end, where I end and he begins. We are so intertwined that we are one.
Oh, how I have missed this. Oh, how I have missed my Sunny. My Sunny, my beautiful Sunny, the light of my world, the heart in my chest, the only thing that matters to me. The only thing that will ever matter to me.
I love my Sunny.
(863 words)
a/n- hey sorry theres no smut in the next one womp womp
