I fall asleep quickly as soon as I get home. I'm not quite sure what I will do, or what I even can do to Aubrey, but I know I have to do something. It may be petty and stupid, but I can't let her have bullied me for four years only to comfort, and fucking kiss me of all things, just to take back any sense of love she gave me and make me feel like even more shit than I previously did.
She's completely right. She's a fucking asshole. And she deserves to cry, to feel hurt. Because she has hurt me so many times and I have always just taken it because I always need to be the bigger person. Because I need to hold on and bite my tongue so that I can save Sunny.
I will tell every goddamn person in this school about the fact Aubrey kissed me. About the fact she's in love with a girl. About the fact she is the biggest piece of shit this stupid universe has seen.
When I wake up in the morning, I quickly slip on a nice looking forest colored sweater, white shorts, and rush out of the door, not even bothering to get breakfast.
I wait for the bus, warm wind blowing through my blond hair, sky painted with cold watercolors. My lips are stained red with blood, my cheeks pink with the thought of how I will ruin Aubrey's life today.
On the bus, I sit in the back as I always do. A girl gets on at the next stop, and sits next to me. I don't know or remember her name, but what I do know and remember is that she is especially chatty, and loves to gossip. Call it luck, call it fate, call it the universe aligning, call it a simple coincidence, but no matter what you call it, things are, for once, looking to turn out in my favor.
She wrinkles her nose upon seeing she has to sit next to me, but I don't mind much. I have a feeling that people won't hate me as much as Aubrey by the time I'm done.
"Oh my fucking God, Becca! Guess who I'm sitting next to..." She whispers to her phone, barely audible over the loudness of the bus in the morning. "The fag."
I take a deep breath in, and reassure myself. I have to do this. I'm not being silent anymore. It's time for Aubrey to get what she deserves.
"Hey... umm... I know I'm a fag but like... there's someone you're friends with who's a fag too... you know, if you've ever slept over, she's probably like... looked at you and stuff." I say softly, incredibly nervous, feeling slightly sick about hurting my old friend like this. But she deserves it.
"Spit it out bitch! Who is it?" She demands.
"Aubrey." I tell her.
She lets out an over exaggerated gasp. "Oh my GOD, Becca! Did you hear that? Aubrey's a fucking faggot! Oh shit, you have gym with her... can you imagine... she's probably been finger fucking herself to the thought of you in your bra..." She says to her friend on the phone.
The rest of the bus ride goes on like this. It's kind of torture, with plenty of harsh words being thrown around by the girl next to me, but I also relish in the fact that Aubrey is finally getting what she deserves. Karma is a bitch, but now it's working as a bitch for me.
When we get to school, I stand in a spot where Aubrey could easily see me, waiting for her to bully me.
"Oh my god, look at this. A fag just standing in the middle of the school yard." She says, walking up to me.
I can hear a girl giggle.
"Are... when you say fag, are you talking about me or you?" I say softly, looking right into her eyes, trying to not cry.
I can see the fear immediately spark in her eyes.
"I'm not a fucking fag." She says.
"Yeah, yeah... sure... last night you confessed to me how you liked girls... how, um, in the locker rooms, it turns you on." I say, tears budding in my eyes.
Thankfully, I don't have to be the one to talk to her any longer. A girl steps in front of me, getting close to Aubrey.
"I have gym with you... you disgusting... I don't even know what to say! You're a fucking freak!" A girl says loudly, red in the face.
I can see tears in Aubrey's blue contacted eyes, her eyelashes wet, and I immediately regret this, my plan, ruining her life. Guilt overwhelms me and I feel sick and I want to die. I walk away before I can cry.
But she deserved this? Didn't she?
I go to class early, just sitting there in my desk, the rest of the class room empty.
After about ten minutes, the rest of the class comes in, the classroom louder and more talkative than it normally is. Most people are talking about Aubrey. Thankfully, the teacher shushes the class room.
The rest of the day, the halls are alive with people talking about Aubrey. At lunch time, I see her not with her usual group of friends, but instead, sitting with some other outcasts, at the far end of the table, away from even the outcasts. The way I've had to sit at lunch for nearly four years. Being reminded of how I have and still am suffering makes the guilt lessen just a bit.
At the end of the day, I get back on the bus. Aubrey, being in the same neighborhood as me, sits in the back of the bus. Just like me.
But no one sits next to her. No one wants to. However, some girl sits next to me. She has long red braids, and I think I've seen her around school before.
"Do you have any more information about Aubrey?" She asks.
I feel guilty, but start talking anyway.
(1003 words)
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