"Basil." She says, quietly, calmly, her voice soft and warm, maybe even loving. "Give me your hand."
And so I do what is asked of me. Willing as always, I obey, and place my hand, sore and cramping, memories of dirt and blood staining it, right in her hand, which, in a way, mirrors my own.
Her hands are, in a way, not too different than mine. Her hands are small and breakable, but they've also broken things and people. They're slightly rough, and I know they've been used to wipe tears off of faces.
At the end of the day, we're both people.
And really, that's all that matters.
We sit there in silence, and while we do, I think. I think about a lot of things. I review the memories of everything that has happened between us.
I remember the funeral. It was a week after her Mari's death. We were all there, even Sunny, but his eyes were dead and his hands were limp and cold, so really, he wasn't there. Just his body was.
Aubrey was in a pretty black dress. Her hair was black still. Her eyes were dark brown, nearly black.
Everything was fucking black.
Even the shadows.
She looked different at the funeral. I mean, she was only thirteen, and her home life was absolutely terrible. She had friends, of course, I was her friend, but no one was her friend like Mari. Mari stood in for her mother, for someone to take care of her, because she never had anyone to take care of her before meeting Mari.
And then just like her father, Mari left her.
She had to grow up at the age of thirteen.
She was a child.
Barely even a teenager.
She didn't get to enjoy a childhood. She didn't get to even have a childhood. She was forced to mature, to become independent and self sufficient. She was a little girl.
I want to kill Something for all the harm it has caused.
I make a silent promise, not to myself, not to Sunny, not to Aubrey or Kel or Hero, not quite to anyone except for maybe Mari or God. But it's a promise nonetheless, and I do not break promises, so, one day, Something will pay for all the harm it has caused.
I will make sure of this.
My hands are still in hers.
Oh how lovely this feels. I feel like a child again. I wonder if she feels the same.
I open my eyes to look back at her.
There are tears in her eyes, and a sadness that just barely is mixed with something good, something beautifully bittersweet.
"They say hair holds memories." She says to me.
I give her a little smile, unsure of how to reply. I have no idea what she's talking about, but still I look at her and nod.
"I think that's why I keep growing mine out, you know? Like, I haven't cut my hair since Mari died. The last hair cut I had was one she gave me. I remember my mom used to cut my hair, before I became friends with Mari and before my dad left, but she never did it well. She would brush my hair and pull on it. Mari was so fucking nice, and now she's dead." Aubrey continued. "It just... it feels wrong to cut my hair again. It feels wrong to let go of the memory. It feels wrong to fucking exist at all without Mari, but I keep doing it, don't I? Maybe I should cut my hair too."
I pause for a second, and then smile at her shyly. "I can cut your hair for you sometime... if you want."
She smiles at me back, and goes to hug me, before pausing. "Thank you. So much."
"I wish you just... wouldn't have fucking bullied me. Like seriously, Mari died, and out of nowhere, you dye your hair and get a new group of friends and make my life a living hell. Like... apologize to me at least." I say.
She looks and me and gives a quick laugh. "Oh, Basil, you turned my whole group of friends on me, you turned like the whole school on me, fucking everyone, you made everyone hate me because what? Because of a stupid little kiss? I thought you would've snapped earlier. Like, damn, I deserved it, but why was the kiss what pushed you over the edge?"
I bite my tongue, and sigh. "Because I have a fucking boyfriend, Aubrey. Or maybe not boyfriend, but we're definitely in love, and I'm definitely not in love with you, and to be honest, it was just kind of a dick move and you should really make sure that the person you're going to kiss is okay with you kissing them before you just go ahead and kiss them without them wanting to."
She looks at me wide eyed, before smiling.
"Oh my god, Basil, you have a boyfriend?" She seems happy for me. "Who is it?"
I tell her, "Sunny. Well, I don't think we're official, and we just had a fight, but we're very much in love."
"That's absolutely adorable. So like, you're fully gay, right?" She asks.
I nod. "And what about you? Fully lesbian?"
She can't meet my eyes when she says it, and her voice is a whisper, but she whispers, "yes."
If her kissing me was what it took for her to accept that she's a lesbian, maybe it's not so bad. I can stand to suffer, especially to make someone else happy.
"So... uh... I'm sorry about what I did." I say.
She looks back at me, and runs a hand through her vibrant hair. "Oh, Basil, you don't have to be sorry. I'm a massive bitch, and you were justified. I'm just... admiring you. Like wow, you got a group of homophobic girls to listen to you? You're the most gay twink I've ever seen, and you got some of the most popular girls in school to listen to you. That's not an easy feat."
I laugh a bit, and then decide to try and get an apology out of her while I still can. "So... are you ever gonna apologize for bullying me?"
She shrugs. "I'm sorry. I mean... oh, wow, I do feel guilty. That's a new thing. So, yeah, I guess I am sorry. You didn't deserve it."
I smile at her. "I forgive you."
"I know, Basil, I know." She says, her voice seeming lighter than a second before, and she hugs me, and I hug her back, and it feels beautiful.
(1083 words)
a/n - GAY LESBIAN SOLIDARITY
i have somehting i want to make happen at the graveyard between basil and sunny but it might be too deranged...
but does too deranged for basil even exist?
