A Reckoning in Mayberry

Part 9/2 Hero: Reid

Seven year old, broken-armed Reuben was looking for a bodyguard to protect him from his bully/extortionist, Jake the Snake, who had provided the broken arm, free of charge. Jake pretty much ignored Reuben for two weeks straight after he broke his arm, but Reuben knew he was only biding his time. Reuben was desperately seeking a savior to provide protection. He looked from grade two to grade four in Public School 154 for a prospect strong enough and mean enough to face the bully. If not for Jake himself, Reuben might never have met his forever bodyguard.

Reid Brentley was almost overlooked because he was in kindergarten that year. He was big for his age, a full two heads taller than the rest of the kids in his room, but he was uncoordinated and awkward. Like most bigger than average kids, people, including adults, expected more from Reid because of his size. They expected him to act older, but since he was only five years old, he acted like a five year old and thus ignored expectations. Reid started kindergarten kicking and screaming. He kept it up all day, more moaning and groaning than actual screaming or crying, and all without one tear.

"He'll quit soon enough," said the experts, the teaching assistants, who had seen this every year but knew it would only last a day or two.

Reid was stubborn and it was October and he was still crying, no more kicking and screaming, but still crying. It had gotten so bad that his older sister, who was humiliated and dying of embarrassment because of what she called 'the spoiled brat", dropped his hand as soon as her parents drove off and left them curbside. With cold weather and nowhere to go but in, Reid eventually found his way in the school but not without attracting the attention of the Snake.

Reuben was off limits for awhile, at least until the heat wore off. The heat that Jake himself had turned up quite by accident. Jake was quite shocked to find that he had broken Reuben's arm. I never broke a bone before, he thought. That kid is soft. It is all his fault. To cover for his arm breaking actions, Jake told his parents he saw the whole thing and that Reuben slid on some ice and thank goodness he was there to help. His parents, ever naive, went to school and complained about the poor boy who had slipped on some ice. They demanded more supervision outside. Their complaints resulted in Officer Mahoney being assigned to the back lot. Reuben knew his reprieve was short because Officer Mahoney did not like being out back. He liked to be out front where he could smile at the children and appear to be so helpful. He liked waving at the moms and quick head nodding at the dads.

With Officer Mahoney on patrol, Jake was temporarily stymied from wreaking havoc, but it did not stop him from verbal harassment. He didn't bother with Reuben though because he had a new target: Reid - the crybaby, wet your pants, booger eater, snot slurper, poop pants. All names that Jake gave Reid that stuck and were soon being used by other kids too because the moaning and groaning was not limited to the kindergarten class. Reid cried at assemblies and in the lunchroom and up and down the halls on the way to and from the library. Everyone knew the crybaby, wet your pants, booger eater, snot slurper, poop pants. Reid was on everyone's last nerve, including the kids.

For two weeks, Reuben watched the verbal abuse of 'ol poop pants. At first, he was overjoyed that God had answered his prayers, and he was no longer the lone victim of Jake the Snake. Reuben was so happy that he would look up to the heavens and smile.

"Thanks," he said to the heavens more than once.

By the second week of the verbal onslaught, Reuben was concerned. Sure, Reid was big, but he was only in kindergarten. And, he seemed to be so impassive and stoic and not at all fazed by Jake's words. Was he dimwitted? Reuben wondered. No matter what was said to him, Reid just kept on moaning and groaning like he was the most miserable five year old on the planet. Jake was furious at the non-response to his daily verbal attack. The verbal onslaught escalated. Reuben was worried that when Officer Mahoney deserted his post, and it was bound to happen, sooner than later, that Jake might kill the kid. Reuben had to warn him, but first he had to talk to him.