I feel like I'm failing and I don't know how to fix it. I'm failing as a freind,daughter,sister,student,cousin and failing in a lot of things I do I can't every do anything right and it hurts to know I'm not enough they always SAY I am but I know they don't MEAN it they say it to be nice but I know I'm failing and It seems like even when I don't feel like I'm failing and start to feel better I'm reminded of my faults and it hurts more when it's by someone who's opinion matters the most to me. I know I'm failing and I can't fix myself and I don't know why but it hurts more than people realize someone asks if I'm okay and I almost break down but I can't because I'm already failing I can't fail and afford to break down because I know I'm a failure to alot of people but if I can convince the few people who don't think that I'm not and that I'm not failing. I have been told by multiple people it would be better if left and stayed that way I have woke up and and been blocked by people who meant the most to me without a explanation because I'm failing and after so long people get annoyed of it and I don't blame them if I could I would fix my stomach,thighs,thoughts,voice,laugh and my eyes because those are what people point out to me the most those are my main issues to others and I want to make people happy even if I'm not because to me my happiness doesn't matter only the people who matter to me but it seems like I can't please them. I'm a horrible big sister and often shut out people because I'm afraid to lose them and that's not fair to them but it's all I know how to do because I'm afraid to get attached and them just leave me again or tell me all my faults and problems and leave without giving me a chance to work on them and nobody realizes I hate myself just as much as they do and if I COULD disappear and not come back or teach myself to be quiet I would but for some reason I can't and it bothers me just as much as it does to other people
