I know it's not her fault but for some reason I'm still mad at her. She knows how bad he hurt me and it's not her fault he did that but she is back with him and it hurts. I miss his laugh and his smile and the way he knew how to make me laugh when I was mad or sad and i know she is gonna get that and I hate her for it I want him back but he doesn't want me and I don't blame him she is so much better but I want him back and I hate her for it but it's not her fault I wish I could move on but I can't and it hurts so much it feels ridiculous. It only feels ridiculous because he doesn't care about me whatsoever and I have been crying for the past 2 hours over him and she gets him and I don't understand she has had him before and he's going back but he would never go back to me and KNOWING that hurts me more and I wish I could control it I wish I could move on and forget him but I know part of me will always love him even I'm I'm IN LOVE with someone else part of me will always miss his stupid laugh and his humor and she gets to have all of it and i want it so bad it's stupid. I wish I could forget all of the fun we had. I hope she knows how lucky she is and never takes it for granted because he deserves the world. I hate her but it's not her fault but I hate that she gets to Have him when I would do whatever for him to love me Like he did when I had him but I know he won't. He doesn't even acknowledge me and that's what makes it worse I know he would drop anything for her and not me and it makes it SO much worse because he made me feel different than others and I want it back to myself even if I love someone else he will always have a extremely special place in my heart even thought he doesn't feel the same.
