The War Against The World

chaper one

it's January, two months after Otis's failed attempt on his life.

when he tried to hang himself his mom arrived home earlier then expected and saved him. it was all over, she seen all his cuts and scars and freaked, she sent him off to a mental hospital for a couple of weeks. and then when he got home his mother sent him to a therapist who then sent him right back to the nut house. but after almost two months he was finally home again.

at first he was pissed he failed, it felt like he took so many steps back and the world was in first place again. he was so angry, he lashed out on anyone that came near him. he would scream and shout all night long when he was at the hospital.

once he finally calmed down and excepted everything, he was let out a couple days later. it obviously still felt like too long, but he got through it day by day. it was even worse when he got sent back just a week later though.

when he was at the hospital he was worried about what things would be like when he got home, he was scared of what his mother would do. he didn't know if his mom would be mad at him for all he knew she could hate him. he knew deep down he's mom could never hate him but he was still scared for the longest time.

when he finally did go home, things surprisingly felt normal, obviously there were changes but not very much. he's mother checked on him more often though out the day, and he wasn't left alone more then a couple minutes a day, those minutes turned into to hours not to long after he got back though.

he felt weird having a bunch of people know about what happened and what he did to himself but he was getting used to it, slowly but surely.
he still couldn't talk to his therapist without getting awkward and all that, but it was improving.

he really missed his mom when he was gone and his glad to back.

currently they were sitting together on the couch watching a movie he's seen a thousand times, he was mostly just scrolling on his phone catching up on what his missed in the last couple months. he wasn't allowed his phone when he was in the mental hospital and his mom didn't let him have his phone back until the other night.

it wasn't her punishing him, she was just worried about everything now, she has changed a lot of things. she went on and on about how it wasn't fair for a kid to be having such scary thoughts, she just wanted more then anything for Otis to be happy.

truth is, he feels guilty for putting his mom through that pain, he loves his mom. he's not mad her for sending him away. he probably would've done the same if he was in her shoes. after he got back, she started taking dedicated time to spend with him after he got back from he's therapy sessions.

oh god he hated therapy, everyone around him keeps telling him that it will make him feel better but it doesn't feel true. how is talking about how useless he is going to help? he tried though, he really did, if not for himself for his mother he owed that to her after putting her through all that.

he never really said much to his therapist. he seemed like a kind man, and he seemed like the type of guy who wouldn't ever judge you, no wonder he became a therapist. Otis thought about the man a lot, but that was probably just because he had nothing better to do then just stare at the guy while he talked about his mental state.

a sudden tap on his shoulder took him out of his thoughts. he's mother. he looked around "oh the movies over" he thought.

"what you thinking about sweetie" his mom asked in a soft tone. he quickly replied with just a shrug, he didn't feel like sharing his thoughts with his mom quite yet. he wasn't ready tell her about his feelings. she warmly smiled at him

"i'm going to head to bed i suggest you should do the same, you've got school tomorrow." she declared happily.

fuck. he forgot he was going to return to school tomorrow after all this time. "do i have to go mom? please just let me drop out or something!"he begged grasping his hands together and shaking them dramatically.

"you know that i love you more then then all the stars in the sky my bumblebee, but i can't let you do that, it's for your own good."she said softly with a gentle sigh.

he expected that answered but it was still worth a shot. "now i'm off to bed, i love you my darling, goodnight!" his mom chirped.

he replied with a simple "love you, goodnight!" he wished he didn't have to think about school, it sounded terribly scary.

people would start to ask where he was all this time, it wasn't like he was popular, but he went to a smaller school, the kids would take a notice when a fellow class mate just disappeared for almost two months. he could just lie, that would be hard though. what if he couldn't keep his story straight and they caught him in a lie, he would never live it down, they would figure out the truth.

he knew this would happen why wasn't he prepared, he spend hours on top of hours thinking of this exact moment. be promised himself he wouldn't panic, he promised himself he wouldn't let the world see him in such a defeat.

why was the world being so cruel? this wasn't fair!

he was starting to panic. "fuck this isn't good." was the only thing running through his head, he didn't know what he was going to do.

he sat there frozen for what felt like hours until he could hardly breathe, he's sobs were getting uncontrollable. he was overwhelmed and couldn't think straight, he needed his mom.

like the helpless child he felt like he ran up the stairs to his mom, he ran into her room and all but jumped on her bed. he had tears running down his face and panicked expression.

he's mom immediately shot awake from her slumber. eyes darting to her son who looked to be in shambles, she didn't know what was going on but she immediately engulfed her panicking baby in her arms with all the love she had.

she knew what to as something similar to this has happened once or twice sinces Otis has returned.

"oh hunny, what's wrong.'" his mother asked almost immediately as she rapped her arms around her crying baby boy.

"they will all hate me." he whispered out between sobs "they will all think im dumb and useless if they know the truth." somehow his mom knew exactly what he meant and started to calm him down.

"baby they aren't going to hate you." she said gently. "everyone goings through their life struggles, nobody should judge you for that."

"you don't even need to tell them the truth as to why you were gone, we can just say we were on a vacation." she reassured just as gently.

they spent the rest of the night cuddled together, he was hugging his mother as hard as he could. some might think it was weird to be this close to your mom when your 15 but for Otis it was and his mom it was only natural.

she was his bestfriend, he loved her more then the sun, the moon and the stars combined.

when he lost his dad and his sisters in a fetal car accident when he was just 13, he's mother was all he had left. from that awful day forward it was just him and his mom against the world.

severe guilt washed over him in an instant, he was going to leave his mom all by herself. god he felt like an awful person after making that realization, he almost made his mother go through the pain of losing another child after losing the love of her life and two children.

he let this dumb fight with the world blind him from the responsibility of being there for his mom.

he couldn't believe he did that to her. from this moment forward he swore never again, never again was he going to put his mom through anymore suffering. he was going to be strong for her like how she is always strong for him.

there was no way he could just be completely normal after what all has happened in the last couple of years, but he was going to try his hardest to be better.

he would do anything for his mom.
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[1490 words]