The War Against The World

Chapter nineteen

Otis couldn't deal with it.

Everything was too much, he needed something to calm his brain. The endless drinking and smoking wasn't cutting it anymore.

His brain was telling him all kind of horrible things, it was driving him crazy. He felt like he could see straight. A million different things running rampage in his head. He felt like he was going crazy. His mind was full of thoughts he'd been trying to drown out for months. He need a break.

He fucking needed something.

He'd been desperately trying to drown his sorrows, but it hasn't been working. Nothing fucking working.

He wanted a break from his mind screaming at him, telling him he was worthless, that he deserved to die. He wanted an escape from the world endless taunting.

He needed something to shut his mind up.

He knew the only way to get something more was to talk to someone he really, really needed to stay away from, but he just didn't care.

And to be honest he missed Luke, it almost like he was getting withdrawals. Luke was the one drug he couldn't live without.

He doesn't even know why at this point. He'd gone months without seeing him before, and now all the sudden, he's heartbroken about it. He misses him.

He needed to see him, talk to him.

Otis at this point was having an inner war with himself. On one hand he knew he shouldn't talk to Luke. He knew that he was a horrible, manipulative person. But on the other hand he felt like he was overreacting. Maybe he did give Luke the wrong impression. Luke's always been so nice to him, and he's always given Otis everything he's ever asked for. Was he being ungrateful?

And before he knew it, he had his phone in his and clicking a contact and dialing a number. He just sat there looking at his phone as it rang. He was almost starting to think he wouldn't answer.

That was until, Otis heard a groggy hello.

"Luke?" Otis said, trying not to let his voice tremble. "Otis?" He replied in a confused sort of out of it tone.

Well fuck, now what?

"Um, hi." Otis said softly trying to sound energetic with the last amount of energy he had left. "Are you busy?" He asked next.

"The fuck you mean?" Luke replied harshly. "Well I was just wonde-" he got off as Luke began to talk again.

"The last time we talked, you ran out of the room balling like a baby after I seen your fucked arms." He spoke in a quiet but resentful manner.

"Now you're calling me at 3 in the morning asking if I'm busy? What drug are you on now?" Otis just sat there, not really knowing how to respond.

"I'm sorry, i shouldn't have done that to you. But I miss you, and I was hoping we could meet up and talk it out." Otis uttered out. It was rushed and a little scrambled but at least he said something.

"Why should I?" Luke let out an annoyed huff.

"The last time we talked, you acted like I was a stranger!" He accused. "Then I come to find your little freak show under your clothes."

"I know, I'm sorry." Otis almost whispered. "I don't deserve your time, but please! I need you."

"Do you need me, or do you need shit?" Luke accused again. He's tone was more then hostile. Otis knew he was pushing his luck, but he didn't have a choice.

"Just give me a chance?" Otis was holding back tears at this point. It was felt like he was a child again, being scolded by their mother.

There was silence on the other end of the line. It was killing him, it felt like he was being dangled off the edge of a cliff.

"Beg." Was all he received.

"What?" Otis didn't understand. "I said beg. If you need me that fucking bad, show me." Luke demanded.

Thats when Otis let the first tear slip out of his eye, there were many more to follow after that one.

"Please, I need you." He let out, it was obvious he was crying. "I fucking need you! I was dumb to run away, I didn't know what I was doing." He sobbed. He was met with silence.

"Please, you're all I have left. I'm nothing without you!" Otis felt his self worth slipping. He sounded pathetic, he was pathetic. He was saying what Luke wanted to hear, but most of it was the truth.

He was nothing without him.

"You really are that pathetic." Luke sneered out. The cruel insults kicking Otis hard in his already fragile broken state.

"It's ok baby, I forgive you." Luke said next, in a soft sweet voice, he sounded so sincere, And for some reason that actually made Otis feel better.

It felt so much nicer than being scolded, he didn't want to have to go through that again.

"I'll be at your house in 20, don't you dare be a minute late." That was all Luke said before hanging up. Otis was left alone in silence once again.

He sat there for a minute in the quiet silence of his room, thinking about the terrible decision he made.

What could you expect? He was an addict with a sad existence.

Otis got off his bed and made his bathroom to wipe the tears off of his face. He didn't want to look like a total idiot when Luke came to pick him up. He was already too pathetic.

He knew he was on thin ice with Luke, he's seen his scars. He could only imagine how terribly Luke thought of him.

Once Otis wiped the tears that were drowning his face and got them to stop dropping, he made his way over to his closest to grab a coat.

It was a pretty chilly night, with the wind whipping through the air with intensity that felt like anger. Maybe the world was angry?

Mad at Otis for his horrible actions, laughing at his stupidity. The world was right and Otis knew it, he just wouldn't admit it.

It's not like the world has cared much anyway, the world hated him. Why should he have to listen to its opinions? Fuck the world!

Otis made his way out the window sliding out like a professional, quickly going back to his old ways. At least he didn't fail at this.

Fuck, this was a bad idea.

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