Queen of the Wood ✅

26 - Connection

Mature Content Warning

I stopped as soon as I stepped into the apartment over the barn. I wasn't sure why, but it didn't hit me until that second that I was going to where Brett lived—his personal space. I supposed I expected everything to be cowboy and messy. And sure, there were dirty boots by the door, but the space was neat. And large. Open.

As we walked in from the door on the side, we hit a large, open living room and kitchen with windows lining three sides. The floors were reclaimed wood, and they had kept the original shape of the ceiling, including the rafters. The walls were a light gray, while the furniture looked sleek yet comfortable. It was very much country bachelor. There wasn't much in the way of photos or family memorabilia around. But it still felt comfortable.

Brett shut the front door, walked over to the large, stainless steel fridge, and opened it.

"I know it's prolly too early, but reckon ya need it," he said, pulling out two beers.

He sat them down on the island and popped the tops off before walking over and handing me one. I took it and walked over to the large windows, gulping down a significant portion. From here, I could see over onto our property. There was a clear view of the chairs under the willow oak.

"It's a beautiful place," I said, my voice dull as I continued to drink and stare at the house I had grown up in.

The house that held so many secrets. So much pain. Yet, for the past five years, I was so desperate to return. How fucked up was that?

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised. I had always known I was fucked up.

"Look, Ash... I'm sorry. I... I wanted to tell ya back then, but I never got the chance," Brett said. I could hear his footsteps moving closer to me. "And then when ya came back... I wasn't... Ya still seemed to think that Maeve was yer best friend, and I didn't want to ruin that for ya."

"Too late."

"But it's not-"

"Brett... I've spent the last five years believing that I was somehow at fault for what happened to Maeve. I just had a lot of shit dumped on me. Forgive me if I'm still processing everything."

He didn't say anything to that, but it felt more like he was trying to give me space to work things out. I took another drink, surprised the tears weren't coming this time. I couldn't tell if it was Mom's training or the shock.

It was probably shock.

"You know what really just... burns me. She knew. Maeve knew what it was like for me in that house. She knew about all the things my mother did. That she made me think I deserved all of it." I huffed, shaking my head. "And she told me that I didn't. That I could get away. That going to NYU would be the start of a whole new life for me... And then to find out that she was... working with my mother to keep me here... that she... she didn't actually..."

I took another drink, my eyes glued on the barn.

"I've spent my whole life thinking I was weak. The only people who ever stood up for me - told me I could be more - were Grams and Maeve. And then they were gone. And now..." I looked over at Brett, finding he was standing next to me. "How could she do that to me? Was it all fake? Was everything about the money and what she could get from me?"

It felt like my heart was shattering into a million pieces. I thought Maeve's disappearance had broken me. Finding out about her betrayal was so much worse.

And the crazy thing was, I still felt guilty. Even though I had been drugged, and any sane person would know there was nothing they could do in that situation, I still felt like I failed Maeve.